Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Mantra Speaks: Love Doll

I am reposting this story from Mantra. I think it is a good story to remind us of love and to reminds us to listen well more to our heart and not to the pain that always blinds us. PAIN corrupts what is pure and divine about love. LOVE Unconditionally.

Read On guys...

I have a boyfriend who grew up with me.. His name is KHALEL. I always thought of him as a friend until last year,when we went to a trip from a club, i found that i fell in love with him.

Before the trip was over, I took a step andd confessed my love for him. And soon we became a pair of lovers..but we love each in different ways.

I always concentrate on him only, but by his side, there were so many guys. To me he was the only one,but to him,maybe i was just another guy.

One day i asked him if we couold watch a movie but he said he can't. I felt so disappointed. He was always like that. He met other guys in front of me like it was nothing.

To him i was just a boyfriend. The word LOVE only came from my mouth. Since i knew him, i never heard him say "I LOVE YOU" before.

To us there were'nt monthsaries and anniversaries at all. He didnt say anything from the first day and it continued till 100 days...200 days..

Everyday before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll,everyday,without a fail...i dont know why.

Then my 26th birthday came. When i got up in the morning, i picture a party with him, i stranded myself in my room..waiting for his call, but lunch has passed, dinner passed and soon the sky was so dark,still he didnt call. It was already tiring to look at the phone. Then around 2 a.m., he suddenly called me and woke me up from my sleep. he told me to come out of the house. Still i felt joy and i ran out happily..but to my dismay, he just handed me another little doll. I asked him if he knows the date but...he ignored it he turned around and walked away like nothing happened. I felt so sad. I thought he remebered my birthday. I thought maybe he is not the right guiy for me.

After that day, I stayed home crying..just crying.. He didnt call me, although i was waiting. He just continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house. That's how those dolls piled up in my room

After a month, I got myself together and went back to work. But what made the pain resurface was i saw him on the street with another girl. He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me.

I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell. Why did he gave this to me? In a fit of anger, i threw the dolls around. Then suddenly the phone rung. It was him.He told me to come out of the house. I tried my best to calm myself and walked down to see and meet him outside. Then he came to my sight holding a big doll. I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road. I said i dont need dolls and i dont need person like him in my life. I spitted out all the words that were inside of me.But unlike the other days, his eyes are shakey.."IM SORRY", he apologized in tiny voice..Then he walked to the road to pick the doll. I told him not to pipck it anymore but he ignored me and just went to pick it up.

Then, a big truck was heading towards him. I shouted Khalel to move away but he didnt hear me. He squatted down and picked the doll.

The scene was terrifying..That's how he went away from me. without opening his eyesto say one word to me.

I remembered the days i spent with him and started counting the dolls..i ended counting 5 dolls. I then started to cry.. with a doll in my arms..i hugged it tightly..then suddenly....

"I LOVE YOU", i dropped the doll shocked. I pick up the dolls one by one and pressed its stomach. It says the same "I LOVE YOU

Why didnt i realized that? that his heart was always by my side, protecting me. Why didnt i realized he love me this much? i took out the big doll, the last doll he gave me and pressed its stomach..the voice came out, the one that i was missing so much..

"Ian, do you know what today is? we've been loving each other for 486 days. 486 days that i couldnt say i love you because i was too shy. If you forgive me and take this doll, I will say I love you everyday till the day I die.”

1 comment:

Momel said...

I never appreciated the playability of dolls unless they're inflatable with an attachment.

I remember this Tagalog 80's film. It had this guy who was courting this lady. This lady works in, of all places, in a freaking doughnut shop. The guy goes to her in the shop to profess his undying love for her, and he then goes on to promise her the sun and the moon if only she'll love him back. She doesn't say anything, but she gives him two doughnuts in return. It was the same drill for over a month, the same song and dance from the guy, the same two doughnuts from the girl. Turns out she was already giving him her sweet OO with the two doughnuts. She grew tired of his , and she goes on ahead to make him singil for all that doughnut.