Saturday, June 30, 2007

Certified G* Spot Winner: Mister Hubs

The Last day of this month marks the end of the celebration of Pride Month with a Bang not only because of countless parties celebrated accross the globe in commemoration of the Stone Wall Riot fight for Freedom and Equility for the LGBT Community but because the ending month sets the newest blog to belong to the certified list winner of the G* Spot Weblog Award hailed by readers accross the Globe.

For this month, Mister Hubs bagged the Award to be The G* Spot Weblog Award Winner for the month of June 2007 garnering the 34% (187 votes) of the 554 total cast votes for this Month. Here is the Complete tally:

BAMR 2% - 10
Mister Hubs 34% - 187
Daniel 22% - 120
Bedtime Stories 1% - 7
Wild Monkey Dance 1% - 3
Miong 21 21% - 119
It's Gay World 10% - 57
One Gay Boy 1% - 5
Tactology 8% - 42
Pink Panties 1% - 4



Congratulations to Mister Hubs!

Do visit his site and definitely you'll get hooked with the works of this author! Truly, A must read LBGT Blog!

The G* Spot Weblog of the Month for July will be announce on July 03, 2007.

Friday, June 29, 2007

The Abyss

Have you ever felt that no matter what you do and how hard to try to do it for someone - it is simply not enough and everything is always wrong?

Have you ever felt that no matter how much you love someone the way you know how - it is simply unrecognizable for him?

Have you ever felt that no matter how much you give, even your very soul for that special someone - it is simple not enough?

I really feel in a deep shit right now. There is just too much pain in me that i dont know even if i am even worthy of anything at all. The hurt is simply numbing my senses and rapturing my very core that is the only keeping me alive. I feel so damn thinking I am born to have someone and to die with someone. Now, everything is sinking into my head and telling me that maybe it is true that i am condemned to live alone and DIE alone.

I really feel so damn tired and couldnt care no more. The inner battle that I have been keeping within me have unwittingly turned into a war. Engulfing into that state of sheer numbness taking into the deep vortex of disbelief and slowly teaching to shun away from the light once more.

No, i dont want slip away. I want to continue believing. But how can I? How Indeed.

power off.


The typical street lights lit one of the so many streets of any common metropolis. Daniel, cellphone at hand, was talking with his boyfriend by phone. He just got out of work and was walking home ready to see his boy to party that night for the White Party Celebration at Malate, Manila.

"I´ll pick you up before eleven o´clock"

"A´right, I´ll be waiting for you, honey"

"I love you, D, see you in a while," He hung up and kept walking with utter casualty. He used to cross some park as a shortcut to get home quicker.

"There´s the fag!" shouted a male voice somewhere behind him.

"Get him!" yelled another one. Panic clouded his senses and adrenaline started rushing intensively through his veins. He didn´t had to think who those voices belong to, he knew they were the studs that have been bullying him since day one of work. In the beginning the just used to yell at him and call him names. Later, they found their way to destroy his property. Just a few weeks earlier they got to fully dismantle his car, what forced him to walk home 'til that day. He didn't lived that far, but being a call center, his parents wanted to have some precautions. The utter most disgraceful action they took against him was when they surrounded him, one of them paralyzed him against the wall. For some time they only had fun punching him a few times on the stomach or the back that made him lie on the ground for several minutes, but, in the last month, they dared to take his clothes off and beat him up. Some friends of his found him badly wounded and unconcious in one of the building restroom. He still had the marks of that last attack. Scars on his back and chest, bruises on arms and legs and an anal wound that hadn´t finished healing ´cause of a stabbing.

He didn´t knew if it was for fear or the previous knowledge of them coming untouched by any kind of reprimand, but he never presented any kind of complaint against them. His mind returned to the present in a matter of seconds. He was more than pale when he saw another couple of guys closing his way out right infront of him. He turned around and started running to a metal fence that lead to an empty terrain. He jumped as hard as he could, but his thin, weak and still resented body didn´t respond as he would´ve liked. He barely reached the half of the fence when he felt he was pulled downwards by two of the bullies. Inmediately, he did nothing more but cover himself on the ground, but them, being more on number and strength, Put him on his feet, fully paralyzed. The one who seemed obviously to be the leader of all of ´em kicked him on the face, breaking his nose and some teeth. Next hit went right to his chest, leaving him breathless for a moment in which they let him fall to the ground. Once again the fully undressed him. One of the studs burned his clothes while he couldn´t do more but moan and spit blood. They surroudned him once more and laughtered while he was crying. The biggest one pulled out a blade, the same they used the first time and made them put him up. He stabbed him several times on the chest and stomach and, while he was falling once more to the ground, on the back. The last remainings of energy and conscience he had served him to understand that they wouldn´t stop ´til they took the last drop of blood out of his body. The leader started kicking him on the ground while the others called him names like: "Faggot" "Shit fuck" "Diseased"

He kept taking those kicks ´til his body couldn´t take it any longer and the life left every inch of his body. This wasn´t enough to them, for they looked for the best place to throw his body, a dumpster "Just the place where it belongs"

"Hahaha" they laughed continously.

Thursday, June 28, 2007


So strange but so wonderful
Of which makes no sense.
But nothing does any more.
So different but so alike,
Unable to break away.
The slow, steady passion which takes us over,
Non existent but so existent at the same time.
So confusing, but it explains itself,
But my understanding is so small.
As you plant burning kisses down my neck,
So panicked, not meaningful.
But it’s what I want.
So lost in what I am unsure of,
Mind so focused on a hot night,
Not thinking of the cold morning.
My best friend, my biggest foe,
Emotions flying,
trying to grasp them before they get out of hand.
Bodies so hot, minds so chilled,
Not sure what we are doing, trying to stop before it’s too late-
And we stop.
Not wanting to do what society think is wrong,
One so strong, one so frail.
Afraid to break something which can not be repaired.
So we just lie.
Wanting to touch, not wanting to hurt
A simple kiss on my forehead sets us back into reality.
It will be a warm night with no passion
Which leads to a comfortable morning yet again.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Asian HeatWave: Iago Raterta

Hair Color: Black
Eye Color: Brown
Shoe size: 13
Height: 6′2”
Weight: 145 lbs.
Chest: 38”
Waist: 31″
Body Type: Slim / Muscular

He was a varsity basketball player for the UST Growling Tigers before being lured into the modelling scene. Due to his towering height and unique Filipino look, he has become a favorite of top fashion designers and has since become one of the top male models of the Philippines.

Iago represented the Philippines in Manhunt, a male model competition, in 2006, but he failed to bring home the crown. He also joined the Mr. World - Philippines 2007 search but was only able to bag the Best in Physique award despite being an early favorite..

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

The Reality

STRAIGHT PEOPLE - TRY THIS. Imagine you have a deep dark secret. It can be anything, it doesnt matter. Now imagine that if you told people this secret you would be ridiculed, hated, looked at like you are a freak. Imagine how badly you want to tell someone your secret. Imagine your fear of a persons reaction if you tell them your secret. Imagine you tell someone the secret, but it leaks out and soon everyone knows. Imagine people whispering and pointing at you as you walk down the hall. Imgine people staring at you as if your a freak, as if there is something wrong with you. Imagine people throwing their lunches at you or spitting on you as you walk across the courtyard at lunch. Imagine people taunting you with names that hurt you like a bullet. Now open your eyes. Gays go through this every day. We don't have to imagine. For us, its reality.

I'm a bi who wishes she was straight because i'm sick of hiding, sick of the heartache and i'm tired of not knowing what will happen what friends i'll lose next what words i'll let slip and what questions i have to avoid answering.

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got
called a fag everyday.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because
I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working
the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long
before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because
they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

i am the gay teenager who cant tell his school who he really is, because he is afraid of what they will do to him

i am the gay athlete who wants to use the locker
room, but hears the ridicule of homosexuality just outside
the door

i am the gay friend that only has a few people who actually
care, but hardly get to see

i am the gay boy that wants to cry when
he hears fag, gay, or homo in a way that makes me feel less humane

I am the foster child
who wakes up with nightmares of being taken
away from the two fathers who
are the only loving family I have ever
had... I wish they could adopt me.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I
killed myself just weeks before
graduating high school. It was simply too
much to bear.

I'm the girl
who was scoffed at by her teacher when
she confided in her she might have a
crush on a girl. - RejectifiedTomato

We are the couple who had the
realtor hang up on us when she found
out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for
two men.

I am the person
who never knows which bathroom I should use if
I want to avoid getting
the management called on me.

I am the mother
who is not allowed to
even visit the children I
bore, nursed, and raised.
The court says I am
an unfit mother
because I now live with another woman.

I am the girl
who hides under lies just to feel that she belongs.

I am the girl that
lost her two best friends because they were gay as

I am thehe
girl that spent heart breaking nights holding her gay
cousin until he cried
himself to sleep.

I am the girl who lost her best
friend because she
found out she had a crush on her.

I am the kid whose
own parents
told her that she was going to hell.

I am the girl who gets
trouble with her parents for wearing a rainbow colored belt and hanging a
poster of Freddie Mercury on her wall.

I am the domestic-violence
survivor who found the support system
grow suddenly cold and distant
when they found out my abusive
partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I
grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the person who feels
guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't
have to always deal with society hating me. - cranberrymelon

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the woman who died when the
EMT's stopped treating me as soon
as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man
who stopped attending church, not because I
don't believe, but because they
closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this
world needs most... LOVE!

I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends
that I am a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to
die because two straight men
wanted to "teach me a lesson"

Now you can think about all this. Maybe you'll change your mind, maybe you wont. Maybe you already support GLBT people. If you do YAY! Good for you! I give you a virtual hug and kiss. Mwuahugs!!!



Now Guys, Its your turn... Tell the World, WHO YOU ARE?

Monday, June 25, 2007

the trance

I took a deep breath in like I always do when I set foot in his room, just to see what incense he is burning. Musk was his sent of choice that day. I grew to like that sent, as he burnt it often.

Jake plopped down on his bed and slid under his Egyptian cotton bed sheets. That was just enough to snap me out of my trance and focus on him. He was only visible from the waist up and his chest was bare. He was truly handsome in every aspect, but again, at that time I didn’t want to admit it to myself. He stared at me with a smile and patted the bed next to him, asking me to join him. Of course I did so without asking questions, and as soon as I was under those covers he pulled me close to him so my head was resting against his chest. Sure, whenever I spent the night I always wound up with my head on his chest. In fact, one day when he stayed over and I rested my head on him, my mom came in and saw us. Let’s say that she didn’t like that one bit.

He whispered softly into my ear and ran his hand through my head fur. I murred softly, he knew exactly how to treat me right. Without thinking I let my tongue snake out and lick across his chest once. He drew in a slight breath as I gasped and pushed myself away from him. I have to admit I was nervous, I didn’t want him to think I was like that because I wasn’t, well at that time I didn’t think I was. I began to stutter and slur my words together as I tried to tell him that I was sorry and didn’t mean to do that. He wasn’t bothered by that at all and again at that time I thought that was strange. In fact instead of being bothered he seemed to enjoy it and still wanted me to lie on him. Of course I didn’t, instead I made myself comfortable opposite of him.

I curled up into a ball there and drifting off into deep thought, not a wink of sleep coming to me. I couldn’t get comfortable as I squirmed around. Jake moved closer and pulled me close to him. He told me that it was ok and he squeezed in the words I love you....

Friday, June 22, 2007

Hate Review

"I think that your blog is disgusting and only shows that gay people are really unhappy and unfulfilled human beings.I hate to see how low a human being could get.I feel sorry for you,I wonder from which kind of dysfunctional home you are coming from.poor you."



"Beneath the dingy uniformity of International Fashion, MAN has remain a savage, a bloodthirsty human Being."

I received the above comment just now. Well, this is a first. At least somebody has something awful to say about this Blog. (lolz!)

I just wish that the anonymous brute leaves a contact number to properly address him. c",)

gluteus maximus

The American Society of Plastic Surgeons reported that 25 percent of "buttock implants" were performed on men as were 8 percent of "buttock lifts". This goes to show that there is an increasing trend among men for surgical methods to modify their bodies. In the Philippines, Belo Medical Clinic introduced the "buttock lift" last year, with actor-model John Estrada as prototype. Too bad, Belo did not put up John Estrada's billboards along EDSA, with his new enhanced and perky buttocks. Bummer.

Okay, I must also admit I just wanted to share with you Ido Victor's gluteus maximus.

Asian HeatWave: Joe Vince Canizares

Hair Color: Light Brown
Eye Color: Brown
Shoe size: 11 ½
Height: 6’0”
Sign: Sagittarius
Body Type: Muscular

Joevince Canizares is a familiar face. He has appeared in several print ads and tv commercials. His look changes whenever he sports a different hairstyle so it is quite difficult to recognize him in every ad he appears in. The hottest among his print ads is his underwear ad for Penshoppe (the lady librarian’s fantasy scene where all the guys in the library are only in their underwear). This is one hot Cebuano.

If he is not playing flag football or basketball, you can be sure to spot this gorgeous guy in the hottest nightspots. He’s sweet too—calls up his girl any time of he day just to let her know he’s thinking of her (Aww!). Get his blood pumping by wearing deceivingly conservative clothes yet still oozing with sexiness and sensuality.




I First saw this Guy in a brochure of "Natasha" - On Brief. And Mantra told me that he is sitting right beside JoeVince back in school when he is still studying in Cebu.

Thursday, June 21, 2007


Silk wings scar eyes of evil. Flowing with the wind without effort or struggle. He flies, forever falling but ceasing to touch the ground.

He walks through the crowd of people making their way to jobs. He does not know them but they know him. He easily becomes the topic of conversation. He is classified as a freak or a creep. If only they took a second to look to understand, maybe possible someday their expressions would change.

Only few unknowingly accepted portions of his sorrow, his sanity. He couldn't blame the people around him. He almost thought of signing himself into the mental hospital himself.

Suddenly, lost in thought he tripped. Falling through the air with a sick feeling in his stomach, his spontaneous flight was stopped.

'Oh no, oh no, oh no. I cant take another person's screams. I don't want them to yell at me. I've heard enough I...'

But no one uttered a word. He rested there in the stranger's arms for only a few seconds, which seemed like an eternity.

"Your skin. It's so cold." The stranger spoke in a husky tone.

He looked into the stranger's eyes and brushed away an ebony tress from his forehead. Realizing he was still in his arms he regained his balance.

"I am so sorry. I didn't mean to, please. It was just an accident. Forgive me." The smaller one said glancing into the stranger's eyes again.

"Sure. But on only one condition."

The ebony haired one sighed and nodded his head quickly. His eyes widened and he awaited his task.

"Meet me at this same place tonight around 10:00."

He nodded uncomfortably and turned to walk away. He felt the stranger grasp is arm.

"By the way I didn't catch your name."

"It's Ryan." Ebony said

"Mine's Michael. Don't ever forget that."

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Because of You

"Thank you for being here."

I never did imagine this little space would go this far. This Blog has remain in slumber for quite a long time since it was originally done in 2004 with a banner "Cairo's Confessions" as part of my personal website hosted in geocities. Templates of which are meticlously designed by brew.

Honestly, I never took it seriously back then. Just look at the archive, Seven post on 2004 and twelve for 2005. (lolz!) not until the last quarter of 2006. Self Studied the html codes to personally design the templates. "If I am going to make this blog active, I want me in every little detail there is and that will definitely includes the template." I told myself.

Early this year i installed a webcounter for every unique visitors (IP Address) will visit this space. Today, Hush and Listen has officially reached its first 100,000 visitors! Pretty cool really! I mean even the geovisite statistics in exiciting me readers accross the globe and I think it is safe to say that I have now covered most of the continents. Not to mention the various reviews Hush and Listen is earning from Blog Critics and bloggers alike which truly boost this author's morale to better his craft.

And add these things to the nominations for the different blog awards, that most recent of which is in the "Blogger's Choice" (thanks to Ms. Eve). Didnt actually win anything yet, but the nomination itself and being part of the finalist is more than enough to make me feel honored.

At this point, Allow me to say my sincerest gratitude to All my readers and Critics alike - Maraming Salamat po, Thank you very much, Tosha, Muchas Gracias, Merci Beacoup, Grazies...


So much for the speech, now please enjoy the post under this one, "Revenue Martyrs"
A Short story still dedicated to June Pride Celebration. May it serve as an eye opener to the Mass Media (not generally of course) who have only see the LGBT community as "Revenue Martyrs"

Read On Guys...

Revenue Martyrs

You cough as you try to remember what exactly happened. It was dark, there was but one sound drowning out your screams. You couldn't see. You couldn't hear. All you could feel was coldness, and the smell of sewage. Where are you now?

Your clothes are starting to dry, and the smell is starting to make you sick as the sweat pours off your bruised and broken body. You fight to keep the tears down; your breaths are shallow, as you engage the pain of your fractured ribs. You struggle with every ounce of strength you have to roll yourself over onto your back, shielding your eyes from the sun that seems to be focused on you alone. You look around with a sore neck, a heavy body, and what you see makes you wish you were back in your house.

Few shingles remain on the roof around you, and scattered with holes leading back down into the abyss. You hear the familiar sound of a crying boy. You see him next to you scared, shaking, and hurt.

You crawl your way to the edge of the roof, the tears of pain streaming down your face. You reach the edge and look into the sludge all around you, and stare into a reflection that looks absolutely nothing like you remembered. You’re thirsty, you’re hungry, and you can feel the sunburn already.

How many days have you been here? Your man is dying in your arms. You’ve become accustomed to the bodies that float by, peeking at each one to see if it’s a friend, a neighbor; a relative. Your skin is blistered from the sun, you can no longer cry, you’re body is so dehydrated nothing comes from your eyes. And ever part of you is on fire with pain, the smell around you would make you throw up if you weren’t already too week. A raspy curse pushes itself out of your dry throat, to that asshole that refused to make room to take you and your man somewhere safe. Your car was in the shop, there was nothing you could do.

Suddenly you hear a familiar sound, you begin to feel a breeze falling on your face. You look up at the helicopter hovering above you. Salvation, you weep in happiness, you’d been found, you’re alive, rescue, release, safety.

You squint your eyes and barely make out “MBC" scrawled along the side of it. Smile, you’re on world-wide television. Rest assured that millions are reclining in their comfortable chairs, sipping a beer in their air-conditioned homes, and thinking “wow, sucks to be them”. You are a proud ratings-booster, a revenue generating martyr. You begin to see the helicopter turning around, moving to the next town, leaving you, and all that’s left of your family, to die on that roof, joining the corpses that will be counted whenever anyone gets around to it.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Sacrificial Lamb

I am silent
and crying on the inside
I have nothing to repent
tears are collecting in my eyes
I have nothing to hide
with every falsehood
a part of me died
I shouldnt have to do this
I shouldnt have to fake who I am
just, so You wont be uncomfortable
I wont be Your sacrificial lamb
but, I take that step back
and hide from Your glares
hoping You wont see me
and start to stare
while I tremble in Your distaste
with My eyes glistening with tears
My soul aches to be free
and My unseen fears
are slowly solidified.



I will never succumb to someone who plays GOD and believes that he is one. NEVER for a Christian Wolf.

Six Pack

In a recent study by the North American Association for the Study of Obesity, it was declared that waist circumference is more conclusive than either weight or body-mass index [BMI] as a measure of disease risk. Miami cardiologist Arthur Agatston, MD, author of the South Beach Diet supports this research by saying that: "Abdominal fat is different and more dangerous than fat elsewhere. Unlike fat directly under the skin, belly fat, which adheres to organs, is associated with increases in C-reactive protein [CRP] and other markers of inflammation that can lead to heart disease."

"work it out, carlo."

So guys, other than working your abs to flaunt in the beach every summer, there is a more scientific and healthful reason for doing it.

Say, your life depends on it.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Beautiful Jake Cuenca

I was in Tri Noma yesterday to buy some new clothes and some new under garments (I have a fetish on undergarment - i collect them, wear and shoot a self portrait and do my on "brief encounter" series lolz).

Passing by Bench where I usually shop for undergarments, I saw the ramp is on stage - "Maybe its for the new model search of bench," i mumured to myself. So I care not and decided to pursue what i planned to do, get the stuff i need and be on my usual way.

Then, Bang! Jake Cuenca, Diether Ocampo and Rafel Rosell in the store, preparing for the modelling stint. (All Three has been previously featured in my Asian HeatWave Series, so check them Out!)
But I really have this Big Crush for Jake Cuenca! and Darn he is really cuter with that short hair. Im bit disappointed about his height though but nonetheless, his eyes and smile is exuding with sexiness in the store that day. Especially, when he grooves sexily with the music background as he waits for his turn.

Well, i dont know i guess i am really mesmerize that day with him and i think he notice that i am staring with a dirty looks in my eye... He did stare back - eye contact and flirt with me with a smile. I am concious guys, I maybe mesmerized BUT I am not hallucinating, I know he throw that smile! lolz!
He has been humored to be a bisexual. Hmmmm.... I wonder...c",)

Anyway, here are some pictures of Jake, well not actually from yesterday stint. I guess I was really too busy admiring him that I even forgot to bring out my camera. lolz

sizzling as the scourging sun!

The Artificial Heart

Many of us claim to know what it is to be coldhearted, but only a few of us are truly empty enough to enjoy the pain of others… A memory came to me recently, of what I did to you, what was done to you, one of the greatest battles of my life…

It was raining that night…do you remember? Deep in the evening we lay together from a long night of passions… And suddenly you awoke. You wrapped your arms around me, and held me close…if only you could have seen the disgust in my eyes when I felt this…weakness, emanating from you. Hands searching everywhere, for something…Soft kisses here and there, candied touches under the sheets. Had you realized the part of me you couldn’t find did not exist? Did you truly believe your passions were mutual?

Keep me close; tell me your deepest secrets. I am all you will ever need, and more than you will ever dream of. You wanted to tell me something, whisper a dream I didn’t want to hear, so bare you had become, all of you revealed, assuming for some ridiculous reason that a bit of trustful intimacy meant all had been given to you. I already knew what was coming, and I already knew you were mistaken. Such a fool.

Three words you whimper to me, three little words, that shattered my perfect landscape. A spell torn out of my artificial heart, time for you to see the open door, my true eyes; the fact that I cannot respond to any feelings you have for me, for I own none… no three words from me, I have no words… no soft cries, or sweet glances, stolen kisses, warm caress… hearts open and bare for the taking… I do not have such things…

The devil is my Father, and I his light.

I peel you off of me swiftly, and arise from bed in one soft sigh. A sweet despair is taking over me, all my dreams lost and ruined from your simple confession. I quickly pace around the room, getting dressed as I walk. In shock you jump up, confused by my actions…”What are you doing?” But I simply ignore you and continue with my task of getting the hell out of here. The rain is so loud, I fear it will come crashing in through the windows…You come closer and grab me by the shoulders, searching my face for answers...I look away, I can feel your body tremble as tears begin to fall. I wish I could taste them…I let you pull me close, kiss me deeply; as if that would keep me in your arms… I giggle softly, such weakness. I can’t stand it.

As I walk out into the rain I can still hear you crying out for me…But it is meaningless, a pointless sound coming from a pointless being. My spell is gone, all the charms gone stale. Sparkling starlight has no place here now. Glass slippers only disappoint. Such a fool.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Vicious Borgy

"Borgy Manotoc: Vicious"

I dont care.... He is still my ultimate Crush. lolz
Enjoy your weekend Guys.
Enjoy, "Have You Ever Love" and "Troika"
Let Me Enjoy Borgy! lolz
Stay Blessed, Beautiful and Free!

Have you Ever Loved?

Why do I ask…
I know you’ve loved someone
But have you ever seen that someone
Take a turn for the worst?

I have…

I just watched with knowing eyes
I knew the consequences he would face

But for some reason…
I couldn’t reach out and save him
He gradually fell deeper into his hole
A hole of paranoia
A hole concealed by his forced smile

Why couldn’t I just tell him to stop?

…well I did…

But my voice was too quiet…
too far away from him
Some of my words reached his ears
But they were distorted and manipulated in his mind
He turned my words against me
Making me feel like it was my fault that he was fucked up

I would cry in my room for hours
Hoping that what he said wasn’t true
I knew his words were false…
But some part of me believed him
My heart was being eaten away by worry
While his mind was slowly drifting further away

Then there was the day that he left
He took his stuff and walked away
Leaving me here with an unbearable pain
I need for him to return
But no matter what I could’ve said
He would have still left
And I would still be left here alone

He took a turn for the worst
I couldn’t help him while he was here
And now that he’s gone
There’s no knowing what will happen to him
A feeling so desperate and helpless…

Have you ever loved someone…
Who turned and walked away from your love?

…I have.


They come in threes, actually. From the Troika zine comes Will Sandejas [bottom left], Janvier Daily [right], and Josh Ivan Morales aka Maico Eduria [center]. The magazine was published as a promo material for the gratuitous johns-and-bojangles movie Troika , which was panned by serious film critics.


Janvier Daily, 22 years old and a student of Hotel and Restaurant Management at the University of Baguio, became an instant gay-folk sensation when he took on the male lead role in the kooky musical, ZsaZsa Zaturnnah. Janvier claims to be half-Irish [his father is from Eire], but he was born here - in Cabuyao, Laguna before moving up to Baguio City. Admittedly, he has fine Filipino features - dark, sort of nigrescent and a knockout, if you ask me. Surely, not all Irish are Caucasoid. If I remember correctly, there is predominantly a 'Black Irish' , a dark-skinned, dark-eyed, dark-haired Irish phenotype created by the infusion of Spanish blood [through countryside invasions]. And then there's the 'Black Irish' of the British West Indies, the mixed-blood offspring of 17th century Irish emigrants and African slaves who live on the island of Montserrat, known also as the "Emerald Isle of the Caribbean." So, how about it, J.? Methinks, despite any claims of progeny or race, Janvier Daily is one beautiful Filipino specimen. You must agree with me on that.



Will Sandejas, Kristian Tanfelix in the real world, is 23 years old and a fixture at bikini contests before joining showbiz. He dusky looker from Laguna finished a special course for caregivers and initially intended to work abroad until he can no longer ignore the lure of the kleig lights.
Will Sandejas was first runner-up at the Metro Bar Bikini Open and the winner of Fashion Quest 2006 held at the Pearl of Manila Hotel. Then he joined Upstyle Modeling Agency's Style Eyecatchers Model Search, where he was declared as a winner in one of the editions of said search. Next came the movies

Will, who was once the lead vocalist of Replay Band, was one of the naked miners [yes, miners] in the indie exploitation film Troika, which also came up with a limited edition magazine from which the images above were taken. He was last seen in another gay bare-for-all flick called Sikil with the boyish Ken Escudero



It seems that this cute Chinese mestizo, who is only 23 years old, is in a hurry for his 15 minutes of fame. The 6'-tall Tarlac province native has been joining teen bikini competitions of late. In any case, he does seem to hold some promise in the looks and brawn department, and the future looks sunshine-y for this guy.

definitely a three sizzling stud to watch for