Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Aside from my body, I think that is an aspect of me that is of anorexic proportions...
but in a very deep dark sense...
I am starving for something I can't quite pin down...
I need something more than what I'm getting...
But there is something missing from me...
My ground in beliefs from childhood almost rear up and tell me that I need church...
I need that void filled...When in essence...
It is something more than just going to a stained glass building to have a preacher tell me of my sins...
I need more than just the charismatic joy found in the "friendly" sort of church...
I need more than I feel in the peaceful pagoda...
I need to reconnect with the khalel that has been locked up...
If you're familiar with my blog for a long time, you know sort of what I'm speaking of...
I need to reconnect to the beast that is only able to speak when it has been given the inebriated wheel...
I am bursting to be so much more...
I feel as if I'm on the edge of something so big that I don't know if I'll crash face first onto the sharp rocks...
If I'll catch an updraft that will spread my wings so wide that I'll soar where only the fearless dare go...
I'm a son that dotes on his darling mother.
I am a driver in the car next to you.
I am truly a forgettable person when you see me in a crowd.
By night, when I let my guard down...
I'm a vortex of emotion and raw humanity...
I'm hungry to be so much more than content...
I let all the monsters that tear at the very marrow of my bones when I smile at someone. I hide so much during the daylight hours.
Look into my eyes and see the fire circling the pupil...
That isn't just the hazel coloring.
That is the fire that threatens to engulf me each night.
That is my spirit and it consumes my every fiber when I allow it.
Each night I lay down the shell of who I pretend to truly be...
Each night I enshroud myself with who I really am.
I am chaos.
I am Me.
When the sun starts to stain the sky with is bold light...
I'll armour back up to be the person you forgot to say thank you to.
I love the quiet moments...
Especially the night.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Monday, September 25, 2006
So right after the mass at MCC we rushed our feet to Malate despite the drizzle that eventually turn to a heavy downpour covering Manila which brought about a power failure. I was teasing, Echo (Mantra's officemate) and RJ (Echo's partner) if they are carrying a sort curse with them referring a birthmark in their butt or something. (lolz). I decided to get the two joined us, of course I was with Mantra, I invited them to attend the church service, so I think it will only be polite to let them share dinner with us (di ba baby? hehehe).
Due to the downpour and power failure, we thought it would be better if we get our dinner in a much nearer place, Shakey's was somewhat convenient, but upon checking the place that is teeming with people getting their own dinner and bystanders still due to the downpour, we found it unconviniently for our routine of chit chat and dinner. Gosh! it was raining outside and damn hot inside the place. So, we pushed on going to David for our Dinner.
After the heavy dinner, (heavy for me, mantra, echo and rj. lolz. See pix!) We sipped a cup of coffee at Cafe Adriatico. All of us just cant get enough of Echo who has been plaguing us with his silly antics since earlier at dinner. Mind you guys, Echo was sick that time for his bad throat. (Just imagine that lolz).
Videoke Time - after getting our enough caffeine we decided to walk along Nakpil and just found ourselves in front of videoke bar, synders, and before we know it, everybody is belting a piece. It is in that point that I think we had too much caffeine in our system, everybody is just hilarious and comic with the choice songs. I think covered all the genre for that evening, placing the cherry via "HollaBack Girl" as performed by Marco. Throughout the singing session everybody is having a greal deal of time. Echo is still and is simply the zaniest of us all, but of course, our little bunso wouldnt easily give out the crown. All of us dancing that turn to be the attraction for the people in Sonata (another videoke bar in Malate). The room we got has a glass walling, so you can just imagine. But I think, thats the way to enjoy life - Dont let other people bother your own happiness.
Friday, September 22, 2006
Name: Nicky Sura Teerakol
Nick Name: Nicky
Birthday: January 21, 1979
Birth Place: Thailand
Astrological Sign: Aquarius
Age (currently): 21
Height: 179 cm
Weight: 71 kg
Star Field: Singer, Actor, & Model
Music Label: RS Promotion
Favorite Car: Honda
Favorite Color: White
Favorite Name-Brand: Fubu 05
Family: Older brother & sister.
Favorite hobbies: Soccer, football & boxin’
Favorite soccer Team: Manchester United
Favorite Animal: Dog
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Dare I hope to hope?
Is it safe? Is it right?
Am I hoping for nothing
But a black and empty night?
Hope should make me happy.
I should laugh, sing, and dance
Because I am hoping.
Right?Ha! Not a chance.
How is it that hope can leave me
Trembling in the darkness?
How is it that something so “good”
Should leave me feeling helpless?
Dare I hope to hope?
What difference does it make?
Fate will be fate in the end,
It will either “make or break.”
Does Fate regard my hope?
Does She listen? Or care?
Am I shooting for a star that
Simply isn’t there?I cannot know!
Oh, GodWhy must I struggle with
This doubt that pulls at me
Rends me, limb from limb?
What sort of hope leaves pain
Where it should instead leave joy?
Is this hope at all? Or perhaps
Some wicked demon’s ploy?
I cannot know! Dear heaven!
How can I even begin to dare
To hope for something – anything?
Is no assurance there?
No promise? No guarantee?
I cannot stand it! I cannot!
The doubt is a plague
In my every thought.
Dare I hope to hope
In a hope that leaves me dryAnd lost?
How can I dare
To hope in hope?
How can I?
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
- I believe in God.
- I believe his people are on the wrong path.
- I believe in Christ.
- I believe in reincarnation.
- I believe that man has corrupted God's book over and over again.
- I believe that the stars and primarily, the planets heavily influence us from birth.
- I believe in heaven but don't believe in a burning hell.
- I believe most life forces have a soul but life experiences and memories do not travel with them.
- I believe there are a limited amount of souls in the universe.
- I believe in angels, spirits, and demons.
- I believe in life on other planets.
- I believe in other life dimensions.
- I believe we are in control of our lives as long as it fits within the framework of our creator.
- I believe there is more in this world that we don't see, feel, or hear than we do see, feel or hear.
- I believe that some of us have a purpose here on earth and in our current life but not all.
- I believe that some of us have a purpose after our life on earth but not all.
- I believe that most of us never get to understand our purpose even when it is fulfilled.
- I believe that we should learn as much as we can from our elders before they go on to the next life or to the after life.
- I believe that I am a very young soul with only one or two lives before me.
- I believe that being gay is a gift from God to both me and to mankind.
- I believe in peace over war always.
You? What Do You Believe?
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips."
I went to bed with a heavy heart last night. Mantra and me, somewhat have an
What can I say I am no experts in terms of these things as well, but maybe I just somehow he found a connection in me. So, I try to answer as much as I could. IN SHORT, we became some sort of textmates and I included him in group message list.
Back to last night...
When I was about to retire last night to bed, I took a moment to send a message to my friends in group list to say good night, it says:
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others. Your Intellectual Type is Exceptional Word Warrior. This means you have exceptional verbal skills. You can easily make sense of complex issues and take an unusually creative approach to solving problems. Your strengths also make you a visionary. Even without trying you're able to come up with lots of new and creative ideas.
Read On guys...
Before the trip was over, I took a step andd confessed my love for him. And soon we became a pair of lovers..but we love each in different ways.
I always concentrate on him only, but by his side, there were so many guys. To me he was the only one,but to him,maybe i was just another guy.
One day i asked him if we couold watch a movie but he said he can't. I felt so disappointed. He was always like that. He met other guys in front of me like it was nothing.
To him i was just a boyfriend. The word LOVE only came from my mouth. Since i knew him, i never heard him say "I LOVE YOU" before.
To us there were'nt monthsaries and anniversaries at all. He didnt say anything from the first day and it continued till 100 days...200 days..
Everyday before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll,everyday,without a fail...i dont know why.
Then my 26th birthday came. When i got up in the morning, i picture a party with him, i stranded myself in my room..waiting for his call, but lunch has passed, dinner passed and soon the sky was so dark,still he didnt call. It was already tiring to look at the phone. Then around 2 a.m., he suddenly called me and woke me up from my sleep. he told me to come out of the house. Still i felt joy and i ran out happily..but to my dismay, he just handed me another little doll. I asked him if he knows the date but...he ignored it he turned around and walked away like nothing happened. I felt so sad. I thought he remebered my birthday. I thought maybe he is not the right guiy for me.
After that day, I stayed home crying..just crying.. He didnt call me, although i was waiting. He just continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house. That's how those dolls piled up in my room
After a month, I got myself together and went back to work. But what made the pain resurface was i saw him on the street with another girl. He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me.
I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell. Why did he gave this to me? In a fit of anger, i threw the dolls around. Then suddenly the phone rung. It was him.He told me to come out of the house. I tried my best to calm myself and walked down to see and meet him outside. Then he came to my sight holding a big doll. I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road. I said i dont need dolls and i dont need person like him in my life. I spitted out all the words that were inside of me.But unlike the other days, his eyes are shakey.."IM SORRY", he apologized in tiny voice..Then he walked to the road to pick the doll. I told him not to pipck it anymore but he ignored me and just went to pick it up.
Then, a big truck was heading towards him. I shouted Khalel to move away but he didnt hear me. He squatted down and picked the doll.
The scene was terrifying..That's how he went away from me. without opening his eyesto say one word to me.
I remembered the days i spent with him and started counting the dolls..i ended counting 5 dolls. I then started to cry.. with a doll in my arms..i hugged it tightly..then suddenly....
"I LOVE YOU", i dropped the doll shocked. I pick up the dolls one by one and pressed its stomach. It says the same "I LOVE YOU
Why didnt i realized that? that his heart was always by my side, protecting me. Why didnt i realized he love me this much? i took out the big doll, the last doll he gave me and pressed its stomach..the voice came out, the one that i was missing so much..
"Ian, do you know what today is? we've been loving each other for 486 days. 486 days that i couldnt say i love you because i was too shy. If you forgive me and take this doll, I will say I love you everyday till the day I die.”
Monday, September 18, 2006
To all of you have voted for me and those who conrtinously read my works... THANK YOU VERY MUCH! You guys are inspiring me more to write. Mwuah!
As of this time, I am leading the pack for the FILIPINO blog of the week as hosted by TALKSMART and been ranked on the 20th in the PLU Blogs ALL OVER THE WORLD! (Yes, I am ranked twenty amongst all the PLU Blogs in the WORLD!)
For all of you who have not cast their votes yet, please do so...
Here are the links:
VOTE FOR ME.
Again, Thank you very much GUYS! Mwuah!
Within the first 30 minutes of waking, complain to me about something I did.
Within the first 30 minutes of waking, yell at, or around, me.
Cmon try it. lolz.
1. The Communist Manifesto
2. Mein Kampf
3. Quotations from Chairman Mao
4. The Kinsey Report
5. Democracy and Education
6. Das Kapital
7. The Feminine Mystique
8. The Course of Positive Philosophy
9. Beyond Good and Evil
10. General Theory of Employment, Interest and Money
Honorable Mentions include:
* The Population Bomb by Paul Ehrlich
* On Liberty by John Stuart Mill
* Beyond Freedom and Dignity by B.F. Skinner
* Reflections on Violence by Georges Sorel
* The Origin of Species by Charles Darwin
* Madness and Civilization by Michel Foucault
* Coming of Age in Samoa by Margaret Mead
* Unsafe at Any Speed by Ralph Nader (???)
* Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir
* Wretched of the Earth by Frantz Fanon
* Introduction to Psychoanalysis by Sigmund Freud* The Greening of America by Charles Reich
* Descent of Man by Charles Darwin
Any conservatives care to defend this list?
Friday, September 15, 2006
My life much richer is now
For all the ones I've chanced upon
And the tapestry that was spun
There was a time when no one came
No friends to play in childhood game
No one to shelter from the rain
Nor the adolescent pain
Yet in my inner heart I knew
Secrets rare and secrets true
Were wishes horses, all would ride
Other dreamers by my side
Then one day I dropped my guard
I never did something so hard
In my heart I let others in
And found I had a friend
By one's and two's they gathered near
Soothing all my darkest fears
A tapestry we began to weave
And I once more believe
For youth need never fade away
As long as I can dream and play
On wistful horses I will ride
With other dreamers at my side
Hush and Listen:
Perhaps we should all take a moment to reflect upon the people we have met upon this mortal coil, and the differences they have made on our lives.
Welcome Back, Jed! Me and Bunso Miss you so much!!
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
What time did I post last? It was definately within the hour & I was very happy. So why am I crying right now? I am a GAY ASS. & I'm really confused about things.. I think too much about things. I suck. Shut me up.
I just have so many things I want to say and I can't. And I get wicked emotional because of it. And then I give people attitudes and I try to push people away from me. I am fucking retarded and I'm so sick of how I act.
I love you... cant you just listen well to the unspoken words? Sigh.
Monday, September 11, 2006
TYRONE: "khalel ryt? tyrone here from g4m.whats up?wana meet?wer u from?"
"Lead us not into Temptations.."
TYRONE: "Matagal na nakasave sa fone ko eh..wana meet?horny ako eh.aren't you?"
TYRONE: "Let's just kip it as a secret then! c'mon.u wont regret it."
TYRONE: "Married to a girl? u can fuck me hard."
TYRONE: "Cge na, once lang"
TYRONE: "Becoz I like doin it wt u! wer r u ryt now?can we do it 2day?"
TYRONE: "Cge na, once lang."
I immediate told Mantra about it, sadly he told me that, maybe I am really hiding an account in G4M.
Friday, September 08, 2006
Thursday, September 07, 2006
To be quite honest, I greatly admired the man. This guy had a set on him.
A big brass set he probably had to keep in a chest locked up somewhere…
He allowed the rest of the world to see dangerous animals up close, from the safety of our homes.
He didn’t send his assistants to tease the animals to react on camera, he jumped in there himself. I watched almost all of his shows and one thing that stood out was that he never told/made an assistant do anything around a dangerous animal that he himself had not or would not do…
The only time I ever questioned his judgement and sanity was when he fed a croc while holding his infant son…and he took a lot of shit for that incident… rightly so…
I won’t dwell on the incident…there are enough people ragging on him for his actions and politics that it makes me just want to sigh. I’ll stick to remembering what the man gave to the world.
He was a conservationist and teacher. I’ve no doubt that he was a wonderful husband and father. I hope I’m alive to see the day his children follow in his footeps, or at least acknowledge to the world his devotion to wildlife conservation and education wasn’t in vain.
j'ai vu tes messages. merci beaucoup! pardon, mais je n'ai pas jusqu'ici blogoliste maintenant
I saw your messages. thank-you a lot! pardon, but I have not so far blogoliste now. Do you speak spanish good?
étudier-tu français aussi, comme moi? parce que je n'ai pas d'argent, j'ai étudier français seul tout (il y a 3 mois). est-ce qui? = who is this?
Do you study french as well, like me? I dont have the money so I am self studying (for 3 months now) est-ce qui? = who is this? (we are comparing each other note here, was asking him on his blog, because the translation of est-ce qui? is this that? he said it can also be translatedas who is this?, gulo ng french noh? lolz)
But of course, di ako nagpatalo, lolz
Oui, je parle aussi l'espagnol et non, j'ai appris français tout seul aussi. Bien que je Dois Reconnaître que je ne suis pas éloquent dans parler la langue mais j'essaie. Acclamations ! Le séjour A Béni et Libère, monsieur steven.
Yes, I also speak spanish too and no, I learned French all alone also. Although I must admit that I am not eloquent in speaking the language but I am trying. Cheers! stay Blessed and free, sir steven.
Vous remercier droppin › par à mon site, monsieur.
Thank you for droppin by at my site, sir.
¡Sí, hablo español también! (spanish)
Yes, I speak spanish as well.
EXPERTS pakicheck ang mga translation ko ha. lolz.
That was fun!
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
"Sometimes, in our relentless efforts to find the person we love we fail to
recognize and appreciate the people who love us. We miss out on so many beautiful things and simply because we allow ourselves to been slaved by our own selfish concerns. Go for the man of deeds and not for the man of words for you will find rewarding happiness not with the man you love but the man who loves you more.The best lovers are those who are capable of loving from a distance, far enough to allow the other person to grow, but never too far to feel the love deep within your being.
"Parfois, dans nos efforts implacables pour trouver la personne nous aimons nous ne reconnaissons pas et apprécier les gens qui nous aiment. Nous manquons hors sur tant de choses belles et simplement parce que nous nous permettons à a été a slaved par nos propres inquiétudes égoïstes. Aller pour l'homme d'actions et pas pour l'homme de mots pour trouvera vous récompensant le bonheur pas avec l'homme vous aimez mais l'homme qui aime vous plus.le les meilleurs amants est ceux qui sont capable d'aimer de loin, loin assez permettre à l'autre personne pour grandir, mais ne jamais aussi loin sentir l'amour profond dans votre est.
"A veces, en nuestros esfuerzos implacables encontrar a la persona que adoramos fallamos de reconocer y apreciar a las personas que nos adoran. Perdemos fuera en tantas cosas hermosas y simplemente porque nosotros nos permitimos a fue esclavizado por nuestro propio egoísta concierne. Vaya para el hombre de actos y no para el hombre de palabras para usted encontrará la felicidad remuneradora no con el hombre usted adora pero el hombre que adora usted más.el mejores amantes es los que son capaces de adorar de lejos, lejos suficiente en permitir a la otra persona para crecer, pero nunca sentirse demasiado lejos el amor profundo dentro de su es.
To let go of someone doesn't mean you have to stop loving, it only means that you allow that person to find his own happiness without expecting him to come back. Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but it is also setting yourself free from all bitterness, hatred, and anger that keep in your heart. Do not let the bitterness rare away your strength and weaken your faith,and never allow pain to dishearten you, but rather let you grow with wisdom in bearing it.
Pour le lâcher ne signifie pas que vous devez arrêter d'aimer, il signifie seulement que vous permettez à cette personne pour trouver son propre bonheur sans prévoit qu'il soit revenu. Laisser va est ne réglant pas juste l'autre personne libère, mais il vous règle aussi libère de toute amertume, de l'haine, et de la colère qui garde dans votre coeur. Ne pas laisser l'amertume rare loin votre force et affaiblir votre foi, et ne jamais permettre à la douleur pour vous décourager, mais plutôt vous permettre de grandir avec la sagesse dans le maintien il.
Para soltar alguien no significa que usted tiene que parar adorar, sólo significa que usted permite esa persona para encontrar su propia felicidad sin esperarlo regresar. Soltando no pone apenas a la otra persona liberta, pero también lo pone liberta de toda amargura, del odio, y de la cólera que mantiene en el corazón. No permita la amargura rara lejos su fuerza y debilite su fe, y nunca permita el dolor para desanimarle, sino permitir que usted crecer con la sabiduría en cojinete lo.
You may found peace in just loving someone from a distance not expecting anything in return. But be careful, for this can sustain life but can never give enough room for us to grow. We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past but real peace and happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is today.There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and beautiful and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon become a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just a friendship.
Vous pouvez la paix trouvée dans l'aimant juste ne prévoyant pas de loin n'importe quoi dans le retour. Mais faire attention, pour peut ceci soutenir la vie mais ne peut jamais donner assez peut loger pour nous grandir. Nous pouvons tout survit avec les juste belles mémoires du passé mais de vraie paix et le bonheur est venu seulement avec ouvre l'acceptation de quelle réalité est aujourd'hui.là-bas vient un temps dans nos vies quand nous risquons sur quelqu'un si agréable et bel et nous nous trouvons juste obtenant s'intensément attiré à cette personne. Cette sensation est devenue bientôt une partie de nos vies de tous les jours et consomme finalement nos pensées et nos actions. La partie triste de c'est quand nous commencons à rendre compte que cette personne ne se sent rien plus pour nous que juste une amitié.
Usted puede encontró que la paz a adorar apenas alguien de lejos no esperando nada en regreso. Pero tiene cuidado, para esto puede sostener la vida pero nunca puede dar suficiente espacio para nosotros crecer. Todos podemos sobrevivir con memorias apenas hermosas del pasado pero la paz y la felicidad verdaderas vienen sólo con aceptación abierta de qué realidad es hoy.allí
viene un tiempo en nuestro vive cuando acaecemos sobre alguien tan agradable y hermoso y nosotros acabamos de encontrar que nosotros mismos obteniendo tan intensamente atraído a esa persona. Este sentimiento pronto llega a ser una parte de nuestro diario vive y consume finalmente nuestros pensamientos y las acciones. La parte triste de ello es cuando comenzamos a darse cuenta de que esta persona no se siente nada más para nosotros que apenas una amistad.
We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves. You don't have to forget someone you love. What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself. Believe me, you would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving. Don't let your heart run your life, be sensible and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well.
Nous commençons notre tentative désespérée pour obtenir remarqué et est plus près mais dans la fin nos efforts sont toujours unrewarded et nous finissons par nous plaignons. Vous ne devez pas l'oublier vous aimez. Que vous avez besoin d'apprendre sera obligé à accepter le verdict de réalité sans est amer ou désolé pour vous. Me croire, vous seriez donner mieux cette dédicace et cet amour à quelqu'un méritant plus. Ne pas laisser votre coeur a couru votre vie, être raisonnable et laisser votre esprit parle pour lui-même. Ecouter non seulement à vos sensations mais raisonner aussi.
Empezamos nuestra tentativa desesperada a obtener advertido y está más cerca pero al fin nuestros esfuerzos son todavía unrewarded y acabamos por es arrepentido para nosotros mismos. Usted no tiene que olvidarse alguien usted adora. Qué usted necesita aprender cómo deberá aceptar que el juicio de la realidad sin es amargo o arrepentido para usted mismo. Créame, usted andaría mejor le dando esa dedicación y el amor a alguien más mereciendo. No permita que el corazón corra su vida, sea sensato y permita que su mente habla para él mismo. Escuche no sólo sus sentimientos pero para razonar también.
Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow: If you lose love that doesn't mean that you failed in love. Cry, if you have to, but make it sure that the tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you. Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you. And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime.
Toujours se rappeler que si vous le perdez aujourd'hui, il signifie que quelqu'un mieux vient demain : Si vous perdez l'amour qui ne signifie pas que vous ayez échoué dans l'amour. Le cri, si vous devez, mais le faire sûr que les déchirures enlèvent la blessure et l'amertume que le passé est parti avec vous. Lâcher hier et l'amour trouvera sa façon de retour à vous. Et quand il fait, prie que ce peut être l'amour qui restera et durera une vie.
Siempre recuerde que si usted pierde alguien hoy, significa que alguien viene mejor mañana: Si usted pierde el amor que no significa que usted falló en el amor. El grito, si usted tiene a, pero lo hace seguro que las lágrimas quitan la herida y la amargura que el pasado ha dejado con usted. Suelte ayer y adore llegará sin ayuda espalda a usted. Y cuando hace, ore que pueda ser el amor que permanecerá y durará una vida.
There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Il y a deux façons pour vivre votre vie. L'un est comme si rien n'est un miracle L'autre est comme si tout est un miracle."
Hay dos maneras de vivir su vida. Uno es como si nada es un milagro El otro es como si todo es un milagro."
Monday, September 04, 2006
BUT HEAR ME, YOU BITCH! I WILL GET YOU, AND WHEN I DO, PRAY THAT I WILL MERCY TO GIVE YOU A SWIFT EXECUTION!!!! I WILL HAUNT AND HUNT YOU DOWN!!! YOU BITCH MESS WITH THE WRONG GUY!!!! GO HIDE!
Friday, September 01, 2006
I don’t know why
but the term lesbian just seems so
confrontational to me
why can’t you people just say you date
Again I say nothing
tongue and courage tied with fear
I am at once livid
ashamed and paralyzed
by the neo-conservatism
breeding malicious amongst us
Non-gender conforming—every year we add a new letter
our community is happily expanding beyond the scope
of the dream stonewall sparked within us
I become more afraid to say black
under the pretense of unity I swallow something I should have said
about the epidemic of AIDS in Africa
or the violence against teenage-girls in East New York
or the mortality rate of young boys on the south-side of Chicago
even in friendly conversation
I get the bell hooks-ian urge
to kill mother-fuckers who say stupid shit to me
bitter branches of things I cannot say out loud
sprout deviant from my neck
fuck you for wanting to talk about homophobia
while you exploit the desperation of undocumented immigrants
to clean your hallways
bathe your children and cook your dinner
for less than you and I spend on our tax deductible lunch!
I want to scream
all oppression is connected you dick!