Thursday, October 19, 2006


This new set of blog is the beginning of a process of making who I am known, explicit, public.

To many of my friends and colleagues I am an unspoken presence. I am never truly shared, and thus, I am never truly known. For those of you in my life to whom I have remained a mystery, I offer this blog to you. If you are moved to do so, I am honored to have you bear witness to this process. But be forewarned, even though this blog exists for you, I do not. I exist for only One Thing.

..i am that i am..

This blog is an expression of my understanding and relationship to that One Thing, and I shall serve that first, always.

I am unspoken in most of my human exchanges. Here, I shall pull no punches. This will interest and intrigue some. It will shock and offend others. And with no ill-will in my heart, I say this: I do not care how you feel about my offering. This is not to say that I don't respect and value you profoundly as a human being; I do. But the nature of this offering is unconditional. I exist as and for this One Thing, and no man, woman, or god shall ever change that.

Implicit to everything I've said thus far is the fact that I believe I have some degree of enlightened awareness. I do believe this to be true. But let me explain what I mean by that. One way to think of it is this: on a scale of 1 to 100, where 1 is absolute ignorance and 100 is absolute enlightenment, 50 would be the tipping point. At 50, one's understanding of who one is would be fundamentally grounded in Reality. I believe I've reached 50, maybe even 51. As such, I believe my understanding is as Real as it gets, albeit very immature.

Therefore, I look to my "teachers" not because they understand something I don't, but because they have had decades more experience than I in integrating enlightened awareness with a human life. They possess the skillful means that I do not. They also rest much deeper than me, and thus act as a representative of a mature form of my own highest Self. But there is no grasping. The relationship is based in Understanding, where teacher and student are genuinely not-two.

So my gift to you, currently in the form of this new set of blog, is profoundly selfish. I am only giving to mySelf. I am only speaking to that in you which understands me perfectly, even now. Perhaps you will join me in this enlightening movement. Perhaps you won't. Either way, I bow to you, perfectly. Received or rejected, I do not contradict myself when I say: I exist only for you.


I will leave the comment option on for my posts, and though I promise to read everything, I can't promise I'll respond to everything (or anything). I'm not yet entirely sure how to integrate the "we" aspect of this process. Like most things on this blog, it will be an ongoing question....

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