[Un] burdened

Unburdened

This heart will not be
Tempted by your treacherous love

Unshadowed

This heart will not be
Submerged in your untrue light

Unscathed

This heart does not go
Lightly and unsoiled from your despair

Uncompassionate

This heart leans toward
The righteous anger that sets it free

There is no room for you
This life, this heart,
This man
Turns away
Condemns you
Casts his demons,
Born at your betrayal,
Back to their makers feet.

You cannot have this heart
You cannot have my love
My trust
Me

I dissolve what once was
Us

Where Does One Begin to End?

those thoughts in my head do a sort of endless pirouette.
those emotions in my heart clamber onto a carousel.
those beliefs in my soul flutter as butterflies might.

no.

but the pirouettes slow down.
but the carousel breaks.
but those butterflies tremble.

so.

fervor without fire.
romance without credence.
promise without excuses.

and.

is hope itself tangible? lest I taint it by touch.
is love itself possible? lest I cease to dream.
is truth itself within? lest I lie to myself.

well.

where does one begin to end?

Immortalis

I just recently open an account at G4M.com, so for those of you have an account there - please do say "hi," and for those who still dont own one, why dont you click thi slinkn and register:




Also, i have decided to activate once more my picturetrail account
check this one out:

CAIRO

Two Albums though are locked.
Password?
Try to Flirt with your Brain and crack this Anagram:


"Immoral Sit"

unchained

"help me survive."

Demons rip my heart out and cast me away,
For I have no time for you, there are dues to be paid.
I no longer want to be part of your game,
I want to be free of this lie you framed,
I don’t want to think I’m worthless,
I don’t want to think I deserve to die,
Even if it was the truth,
I don’t want to be sad inside.


I want to live,
I want to dream,
I want nothing to be, as it seems.
I want to be free of depression,
I want to be free of damnation,
I want my blood to run cold,


And my heart to be sold,
And live a life of determination.
Then I would no longer have to feel,
I would no longer be that broken toy,
That nobody thinks about,
And just keeps passing by.
It’s too bad I sold my soul to the shadows,
Because eventually they set me free,
But now that my depression is over,
I have no heart to relove with,
And no blood left to bleed with,
I have no life to relive over.

________

PS.

Please bare with me. I am really going thru a lot these past few months.
First, work has been detaining ike hell and of course there alot of offline shit that has been bruising me.

The Only consolation i am getting over all these bruised and scar is that i have written a number of poems and essays that i will be publishing soon.

But I hope i survive this one before it finally knock me down.

Let my photo makes you feel what i feel now.

Lookin In

LOOK AT ME


I am the aborted child; silenced before I found a voice
I am the pregnant teenager; who had no other choice
I am the high-schooler; gunned down before my prime
I am the homeless man; asking you to spare a dime
I am the fat kid in class; who never makes the team
I am a nation of outsiders; seeking one Philippine Dream

I am the poor girl in school; the one you love to tease
I am the old man in a home; forgotten, crippled by disease
I am the gay man; beaten; left to die on the street
I am the single parent; working 2 jobs to make ends meet
I am the hardworking man; just a little down on his luck
I’m the one you overlook; the one who won’t make the cut

I am the old woman; with cut benefits from Medicare
I am the suicidal teen; whose life was just too much to bear
I am the misguided youth; condemned to a life in a jail cell
I am the little six-year-old; praying to get out of this Hell
I am the heart of this country; the mix of Philippine’s melting pot
I am the starving kid on TV; that makes you realize just how much you’ve got

I am the mother who can’t feed her child when she cries
I am the promdi man you cannot look in the eyes
I am only what you want to see; for you never take a second glance
I could be so much more than that, but you’ll never give me the chance
All you see is the outside; you’ve decided what it is I should be
You judge this book by its cover; and never truly see me

Lezbo, Faggot, Pansy, Dyke;
All them people's just alike
Dego, Spic, Nigger, Chink;
They roll so quickly; no need to think
Geezer, Deadbeat, Lazy, Weak
Why can’t foreigners learn to speak
Degenerate, White-Trash, Wino, Whore
Spending welfare checks at the liquor store
Hate them, hate them, hate them ALL
They’re the cause of Philippine’s Fall

We cannot change the world today, the pain the hate the sorrow
The task is set upon us all to build today’s tomorrow
Will we finally end this fight, or will simply dance the dance
Will we offer an equal share, or deny our brothers their chance
Will we create a brave new world, or make the same mistakes
From here on in, it’ll be our fault for the form the future takes
No one else can carry us now, brothers, sisters, take my hand
We are the people we’ve been waiting for; Now’s our time to stand.


_______________

"People Works Overtime to Destroy this World. And I have realized how foolish to take an day off from doing my part."

I'm back.

I miss you all.

Merry Christmas Guys!

His Ryeness: Certified G* Spot Winner

AlAS! I am free from my bondage!

Allow me... This Month's G* Spot Weblog of the Month is no other than the ever popular - Can't You read of Rye! Hooray!

How? here's how:

Simply Manila 25 votes
Beauty and the Bum 4 votes
Gibbs Cadiz 2 votes
Can't You Read 110 votes
Desert 69 29 votes
Lows, Highs, & Alibis 20 votes
Male and Beautiful 3 votes
Mr Manager 2 votes
The Geeky Guide 38 votes
BillCoy's Blasted Brain 2 votes


Can't You Read is a blog I personally read whenever I got the chance. Its witty writings have kept me addicted to it! So for all you who havent got the chance to check on Rye's Can't You read? I suggest you him a visit at www.ryeness.blogspot.com

So to Rye, Congratulation Man! Cheers!
You shall receive the winner's button at your email buddy!

A Vision of Death

All of the sudden I feel I am stranded on a limbo. I feel there is so much going inside me and that I cant figure out how can I escape from the war growing within the houses in me. All of the sudden I seems to be not the same undaunted person I used to be. I feel weak every each passing day, like a vampire that haven’t quench his thirst for blood for days seemingly wanting yet depriving himself of the fresh kill to touch his lips.

ABSURD.

Absurdity have engulf me into a vortex of sheer insanity. Truly a manifestation of the war of the houses within me are growing. The unvisited are shouting, screaming, demanding for more.

ESCAPE.

How many times have He tried to escape the vicious swamp I have put him into but the dubious bars have kept him captive.

ILLUSIONS.

I have deluded myself for so long in fairytale and illusions that I will be save by a mantric thought. For century I have believe in a power so divine will save me amidst the mire.

TRAPPED.

He is becoming more restless. Demanding for freedom. Rebellion was in his faculty. Waiting for that moment to surge from the quiescent oblivion that kept him powerless.

DESPAIR.

Each drop is like gasoline. Feeding him with His collection of strength. Fueling him for his anticipated surge.

DEATH.

In my death, He will live.

Drowned

I close my eyes,
take a deep breath.
Then just dive in.

The water is warm,
but my blood runs cold.

Thought of you fill my head with so much shame.
The water is shallow but i almost drown,
im scammbling for air.

I take a look around,
everything is blurry.
My heart bounds and my head aches.

why did you leave me like this?

Pain fills my soul.
I take one last breath and let myself drown.

Down at the bottom I feel no more pain.
Down at the bottom my thoughts all die, my mind is still.

No more missing you,
no more tears will fill these eyes.

This is my hell,
you are my temptation.
I slowly die.


Close the door and never let it open,
for i will no longer be on the other side.

My heart is forever dead.
My love is forever gone.

Silence fills the room,
and the darkness clouds my mind.
I fall into my hell.
No ones there to catch me.
Goodbye to those who loved me,
i am no longer me.

i lost myself in that pool.
as i drowned. im never going back.
A broken heart and a shattered soul.

kisses ill miss,
hugs ill never forget.
i loved you dear.

the darkness is over powering,
i turn that way, for there is no more light.

i wish you would hold me and never let go.
so i say again goodbye.
i loved you dear.
my the pain was to much.
take my hand and let me live.
or let go and let me drowned.

Simple Truth

"Love Me, Hate Me, Free Me!"

It’s already hard enough not to believe you...
It’s already hard enough trying not to care about you...
It’s hard enough not to want to live in the crystal eyes you possess...
It’s hard enough not to want to fly with your wings made out fo ice...

It’s easy to understand that you wont come back to me...
It’s easy to understand that you wont give into me...
It’s simple enough to understand that there isn’t enough of you to give...
It’s simple enough to understand that those eyes are so sad rain runs down in your heart...

Why wont you come to me?
Why wont you fall into my arms?
Why is my love for you taboo?
Why is the crimson that I lose not enough?

Oh, sweet child that, looking into the dark night, wanders...
Oh, sweet lover that, lost in their mind dies...
Oh, sweet mother that, sees nothing but that which cannot be spoken of...
Oh, sweet father that, loves his daughter only as much as shallowness of his heart...

I love you, that gives me wings...
I hate you, that gives me joy...
I woo you, that gives me despair...
I kill you, that gives me freedom...

Drug that infects my mind, it takes a hold and wont let go,

like a babe clinging to its mothers breast...
Sorrow that infects my soul,

it burns so much the scar wont heal, like winter frost on a summer rose...
Love that infects my life, it’s so alive it wont go away,

like an ocean pouring on a fire...
You that infects my heart, not letting my choose my own path,

like a light that only goes in one direction...

Hold me...
Love me...
Let go of me...
Free me...

__________

The Photo: A Self Portrait.

Quote for the Day

Who among you is wise and understanding?

Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition, do not lie against the truth.

This wisdom is not that which comes down from Above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing.

But the wisdom from Above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy.

And the seed whose fruit is righteousness, is sown in peace, by those who make peace.

(James 4:13-18)

*Thanks DA, you made my day.

Happy Monday Guys!

Love Is My Right

..saw these over the net and I cant resist posting them here...

Free Me

Lift me up and let me soar
On these wings of broken promises
let me leave your hollow soul behind
and let you rot for all eternity
lift me up and let me fly
on my wings of your broken promises
i was fragile and now im broken
yet you've cared nonetheless
now i must leave you and your carelessness
for my tears have fallen for far too long
so lift me up and let me soar
my life i have taken back
from these broken promies and little lies
they all hurt just the same
so lift me up and let me soar
i want to fly and be no longer tame
i want to fly on the wings you gave me
wings made of madness and sadness and everything you've done
so hear this now before we part, our paths lead different ways
so now ive gone on my wings of hate and know this simple rhyme
"For everything you've done, I've left and now I've won!"
I hope this rings in your head, so your always remember
this man you hurt has hurt you back and burned you to the kinder!

The G* Spot Finalist: November 2007

Technically, this list of finalist is delayed by five days. Well the reviewers do have the right also to take their vacations too you know. c",)

So whether the five days delay will affect the outcome at the end of the month, we can only know that after twenty five days...

The Finalist for the G* Spot Weblog for the month orf November 2007 are:

• Simply Manila
• Male and Beautiful
• Beauty and the Bum
• Gibbs Cadiz
• Mr Manager
• The Geeky Guide
• Billcoy's Blasted Brain
• Can't You Read
• Desert 69
• Lows, Highs, and Alibis V 3.0

To the Finalist, Congratulations! May the Best Blog Win!

Buttons Up

These are overdue buttons... To Shaney and Daniel, please do accept my apologies for its delay.... Anyway, here it is:

Now for the October 2007 winner.

I often visit this blog not only because of its sensual and emotive photos but also because of beautiful writings that most of the times serves as the voice of its digital photography.

Asian Xhibit of Kit has serve as a continous inspiration not to mention the thirst quencher for this author's personal cravings for beautiful photography. Truly beautiful within its own right.

So to Kit, Congratulations Man! You well deserve this One! Kudos!

For you guys to have a better feel of what i talking about, please spend some time and take a dip at Kit's Asian Xhibit.

Silenced

I am silent for the voices
of souls who cannot speak
for the perfect virgin blood
that with shame drained down the sink

I am silent for the bruises
of the countless innocent
those whose difference claimed them broken
whose dignity has all been spent

I am silent for the lovers
of every heart-claimed path
who can't see past the steel bars
when they fell victim to prejudice's wrath

I am silent for the forgers
of this golden history
who have given us a gift
of nearly being free

I am silent for the broken
those whose hearts beat another way
who need strength to stand and fight
when others insist they sway

I am silent for the union
for the real definition of the word
for marriage is for every victim
upon whom cupid's grip unfurled

So be silent for all the soldiers
and rejoice in what they've done
We stand together in perfect silence
for we have voices where some have none

___________

Happy Holloween Guys! It will be a long weekend for me - I deserve this rest, So I am leaving you a troika to read... Enjoy! Stay Blessed, Beautiful and Free!

Asian Candies: Funky Ryuki

"Funky Ryuki"

PhYsIcAl FeAtUrEs:

Height: 172 cm

Chest Size: 30

Waist Line: 28

Shoe Size: 10

Complexion: Caramel White

"Sharp eyed, defined cheekbones and jawlines. Funky Hairstyles, brown hair sexy eyes and kissable lips this is what completes the spell of Ryuki!"

So Who Is Ryuki?

"hi... Im RyUki DaIgO KaMiKaWa..."

im a half JAPANESE and half FILIPINO...

i was born in HIROSHIMA JAPAN and was raised here in Philippines

...i was 3 years old when i came here in philippines(according to my mother)...i have 2 sisters namely ziehri and michiko...i have my nephew whos name is Shouhhei and im so proud of this kid becuase he is one of the cast of JU-ON THE GRUDGE (toshio the kid there)...

im living my life into the fullest...right now im busy with my career and studies...im into fame...as a matter of fact ive already done TV exposure...mall minor concerts...artist guesting...billboards...print ad endorsements...modelling...niway its not important just for you guys to know...ok...hehehe...

...nothing more nothing less. what you see is what you get...

frank, determined, aggressive, opinionated, and OC at times
But i like people who have loads of views about anything
they're the more interesting ones

...Naughty boy, cool…

I could be the nicest person you've ever met
The bitchiest person you'll ever meet
Or even, a complete asshole!

I could be seen as a lover, a player, or just a plain tease
Some would say I have everything laid out for me on a silver platter,
and that, I'm a spoiled bratt ...

"While others think that I'm the most generous person existing (waooo)
well It all depends on how you would like to perceive me
Im vain they call me supervain... "

Some of Ryuki's Endorsement as of 2007:


SELECTA ICECREAMS (at any 711 outlets)


BRATT HYPES (sm department stores)


PHILOSOPHY BOUTIQUE (SM Mall Of Asia 2nd floor)

OverSpeed

Here is a story related to me by a friend....

It is really Hot I tell you... So Be sure no one is sharing your computer while you are reading this one..

Read On....

"freeze!"

__________________

It was about 10:30 PM on a Friday night. I was just on my way home from a party. I was really wasted and had to go to work early next morning. I decided to take a shortcut down an old dirt road I knew of so as not to get caught. The whole time I had been thinking of something that had happened at the party. Only about five minutes left til I get home, I thought. Right then, as if to snap me out of a dream, I heard a loud siren and those infamous, flashing blue lights in my rearview mirror. I stopped the car right on the spot as I figured hardly anyone else knew about or used this road. I was really surprised to even see this cop. Just my luck. After waiting for what seemed like a painfully long time, I saw the shadow of a bulky figure probably about six feet tall get out of the driver side door and slam it shut. As he came up to my car, he mouthed. "Any idea how fast you were going?"

"About 30" I reply.

"44 miles per hour in a 25 zone". I thought he has to be kidding. What will I hit out here? A wandering gopher? "License and registration." I scrambled for it real quick and gave it to him.

As I did so, I couldn't help but notice that this officer was a very handsome man. He looked to be of European descent with a nice tan, ripped physique, and baby blue eyes that could stare a hole right through you. He started to go to his car for a minute and then stopped. That's when I noticed a bulge in his pants that could in no way be what it looked like. It was just too big. I got out of my car for a second which got me a pissed off look from the officer at first. I go up to him with my hands in plain view and start rubbing one hand over the fabric on his bulging crotch area. "Are you sure there isn't some way we could work things out?" He then smiled as I dropped to my knees. He told me to get up and take off all of my clothes. I happily did so and he then proceeded to undress himself and lay his clothing on the hood of his patrol car.

"Cavity search! Assume the position!" he said in a maliciously playful tone. I do as told.

I'm thinking as this is going on 'Damn this is wild..I know there are fantasies where women get out of tickets this way all of the time. I was now going to share this fantasy with all of those wild women.

As I assumed the position on the hood of my own vehicle, I felt his hot breath and lips on my neck as his strong hands started to explore my body. "Open your mouth" he says and inserts a couple of fingers into my mouth feeling around. When he pulls his finger out, I suck it.

"Good finger" I joke.

"My dick will taste better" he says. He then proceeds to oil up my anal crevice and slowly sticks his entire hand up there much to my dismay. After a second of 'searching' he's done. "I think you can assume your original position now." I turn around and drop to my knees as he has just turned the lights to my car off and we are in total darkness. I reach towards his strongly muscular thighs, grabbing the backs and put my lips to the tip of his dick, sticking my tongue out to lick some salty precum from the tip of the head.

"Mmmm, you were right..this is much better" I say. His cock was huge, a monster. It had to be at least a good 12 or 13 inches and thick, too. I wondered whether I could take it all in. I then moved one hand to grab his balls and grabbed his erection in the other as I licked and kissed top to bottom slowly. Then I slowly inserted the head of his rock hard penis into my mouth as I pumped with my left hand while fondling his testicles with my right hand.

I was sucking hard on the head and could tell he was in heaven as he could barely keep his balance and his hands were lightly brushing my hair. I move my hands back to his thighs and start to bob as far as I can while keeping a good pace. He moans "OOooooAAawww God!.." *schlup! schlup! schlup! schlup!* As fast as I go, I still take the time to taste this monstrous beauty.

"Delicious" I thought. I don't want him to cum yet though. He stops me before he gets there.

"Now, I want you to assume the position again." I do so and he then moves behind me with the wet tip of his large cock teasing my eager fuckhole. I'm still oiled from the 'search'. I then feel his nipples against my back as he reaches around and plays with my nipples. Then he inserts about half of his throbbing monster into my well lubed backside.

I wince at first, then moan "Fuck yeah." He then locks his hips to mine and starts pumping me harder and faster as he kisses my neck and continues to feel up and down my front side. After giving me a minute or two to get used to it, he was tearing away at my ass like a man possessed, many times shoving the entire hot, sticky length into my quivering hole to the base. I cried "Ow!" or "Ah!" a couple of times, but it didn't stop him or slow him down a bit. Still, even through the pain, I was enjoying this tremendously. After all, not all pain is bad.

I then sensed that he was about to blow. I temporarily shocked him as I pushed back with all of my might to get him off of me. I dropped to my knees and pointed his erupting member at my open mouth. He came like a geyser, with some landing on my face and some into my mouth. He then told me "Get up, it's your turn." In a heartbeat, he dropped to his knees and took me in his warm mouth. I could tell that he had some experience as he kept a really good pace and control as he just let all the saliva flow.

Then all of a sudden "Aaaahhhh yeah!" I scream as I shoot my juices down his hungry throat. He then gets up and licks the rest of the cum from my face and kisses me hard. "What about that ticket?" I ask.

"What ticket?" He pats me on the ass and tells me to get going. I happily oblige, hoping that we would meet again one day. I wanted to say I'd be more careful about speeding, but it's so easy to lose track of how fast you're going.

Why Should I?

"Well I’m sorry,

but I won’t be forced to hide

Behind this wicked, stupid lie. "

___________

Why should I be forced to hide
Behind a wicked, stupid lie
Tell you just what you want to hear
Make it okay, sooth your fear.

Why should I be forced to hide
Behind a wicked, stupid lie
Tell you that I love boys
But we all know that’s just noise.

Why should I be forced to hide
Behind a wicked, stupid lie
Deny me hope, deny me love
Is this what you’re told to do, from the Almighty above?

Why should I be forced to hide
Behind a wicked, stupid lie
Just so you won’t see me?
Well then turn off your TV

Because I won’t be forced to hide
Behind a wicked, stupid lie
Does it disturb you
To know there are people out there who don’t do what you do.

Well I’m sorry, but I won’t be forced to hide
Behind a wicked, stupid lie
I won’t mask who I am
I won’t be a sham.

I won’t be forced to hide
Behind this wicked, stupid lie
And maybe you don’t like it
And maybe you won’t admit
That it goes on
Near your house, in your neighbors, or on your neighborhood’s lawns.

Why should I be forced to hide
Behind a wicked, stupid lie
When you can kiss who you please
And you just get called a tease.

I get called a dyke
Just for kissing who I love or like
Well I’m sorry, but I won’t be forced to hide
Behind this wicked, stupid lie.

I won’t sooth your fears
Or tell you just what you want to hear
Turn off your TV
If you don’t want to see
That wicked stupid lie
Being broken by people who refuse to hide.

Just like me.

Gay History

Zephyrus and Hyacinthus, Athenian Kylix (wine cup)

by Douris490-485 BCE, Boston Museum of Fine Arts

History is written by the victors. They choose what will be remembered, and what covered up. So it has been with male eros. Looking at any history textbook, one would think that never has a society praised love between men, never has a painter, a poet or a pope shared his bed and his heart with another male. Evidence of same-sex love has been either quietly suppressed, as with the Greeks and Romans, or quickly destroyed, as is still done with newly unearthed Inca and Mayan art. The result of this deception has been a needless polarization of society and untold suffering for those people who happen to fall in love with others of their own sex.

Uncensored, the historical record reveals an opposite reality: the male love instinct is a universal constant. Only society's attitude towards it has varied. All cultures have regulated male love, weaving varied tapestries of ritual around it. And a few have tried - to no avail - to regulate it out of existence.

Illuminated miniature of Shah Abbas I (1571-1629) of Persia, embracing his wine boy.

The poem reads “May life grant all that you desire from three lips, those of your lover, the river, and the cup.”

As a rule, male love was part of the social and religious fabric. From the city states of ancient Greece and Rome with its emperors (Trajan and Hadrian among others), to the Siberian shamans and Native American two-spirit medicine men, from the African tribesmen to Chinese emperors and scholars, people the world over understood and made space for men's vulnerability to the beauty of other males. They accepted that - whether married or not - men fell in love with men or youths, dreamt about them, wrote about them, fought over them, and took them to bed. And they usually understood that boy children were excluded from the game of love, to the same degree that they understood that girl children were excluded as well.

In Ancient Greece love between males was in many ways analogous to the marriages of the time, seen as equally important in the life of the individual, and enshrined in Greek mythology. It was the cornerstone of a cultural tradition that 2500 years ago provoked the awakening of democracy, theater, philosophy, mathematics, history, and so on. Male love was thought to bring out the best qualities in a youth, especially manliness and courage. In warfare soldiers often fought side-by-side with their beloveds, as in the renowned Theban band; later, led by Alexander the Great and his boyfriend Hephaestion, the Greeks conquered the known world. Greece, of course, was no Utopia: prostitution and rape, often attended by slavery, were common.

Miyakawa Choshun (1682-1753) -

The Go Game Individual panel from an shunga painting of silk done at the end of the eighteenth century, reprinted in The Love of Samurai, A Thousand Years of Japanese Homosexuality by Tsuneo Watanabe and Jun'ichi Iwata.

In Japan,apprentice Samurai paired up with older warriors to be trained in love and war, and even the shogun had - besides his concubines - many boyfriends, their "nanshoku" loves recorded by writers and shunga painters who immortalized "shudo," the Way of the Young. They likewise immortalized the hard lives of the "tobiko" or fly boys, traveling young kabuki actors who had to labor on stage by day and please their clients in bed by night.

In the Moslem lands, famous Iranian and Arab poets such as Hafiz i-Shirazi and Abu Nuwas praised and rued the charms of boys (whom they sometimes plied with wine and seduced). Sufi holy men from India to Turkey sought to find Allah by gazing upon the beauty of beardless youths. Storytellers enshrined gay love tales in the Thousand and One Nights. Artists like Riza i-Abbasi amused kings and princes with exquisitely wrought Persian miniatures and calligraphies. Mullahs and censors railed against male love, but men of all walks of life, from Caliphs to porters, delighted in it and all looked forward to being attended by "unaging youths as beautiful as pearls" once in paradise.

In North America and Siberia, shamanic traditions dating back to the stone age recognized the special spiritual powers of those men and women drawn to same-sex love, as we still see in the Native American two-spirit tradition, which survives to this day.

Domenico Cresti (called Passignano) 1560-1638

Bathers at San Niccolo Private collection.

In the pre-modern west, male love survived mostly underground, visible only when the lovers were unlucky enough to get caught, or when hinted at by artists brave enough to flout convention. Many writers, musicians, painters and poets depicted male love, but always in coded form: Michelangelo, who adorned the Sistine Chapel with vibrant male nudes; Shakespeare, who serenaded his darling boy in his sonnets; Blake who railed against priests "binding with briars my joys and desires;" Whitman, who sang the body electric. The list of luminaries, artists, statesmen, men of the cloth, knights and knaves who felt the pull of male love - by itself, or alongside the love of women - is endless.

The big lie that same-sex love is "against nature," a fiction which flies in the face of both biology and history, depends on censorship for its survival. We at the Androphile Project, gleaning the work of scholars in gay studies, aim to undo that censorship by publicizing gay love's role in man's spirit and culture: its successes, its failures, and the controversies it has given rise to over the millennia. We hope the prose and poetry, religion and mythology, art, philosophy and history collected here from around the world will serve to deepen understanding of male love's place in human nature. As this is being written (winter 2004), it could also illuminate the growing debate about gay marriage, a tradition documented the world over for thousands of years, but nowhere as widely or as recently as in North America, where it was practiced and honored by many of the First Nations.

The documents gathered here are the footprints of the Gay Muse, who has inspired men and women on every continent since the dawn of time. They bear witness to the fact that male love is irrepressible. Where forbidden, it has prevailed over stonings, burnings, lobotomies, schoolyard homophobia, the gallows and the gaol. Where welcomed, it has openly blossomed into the highest achievements of the human mind.

The Minx

I feel hands on my skin again. The fear grabs a hold of me, and I almost scream… “It’s just me baby,” he says. The muscles in my body loosen, and I know what’s about to come. I stifle a moan of mixed pain and pleasure as he pushes his sex past the rings of muscle and deep to the centre of me.

I look at the clock. “It’s one in the morning. Couldn’t this have waited?” He bullshits a story about how he was watching me sleeping, and couldn’t wait any longer. Then he eases out a bit. I stifle a moan. “But what if your parents hear us?”

His beautiful hazel eyes gaze into mine. “Let them hear. I don’t care.” I just look at him. He pushes back in; there is no quieting me now. I moan. He smiles. I open myself wider, and give him access to the deepest parts of me. “You little minx.”

My eyes fly open. My breath hitches, and I push into his next motion. We slam together. His pelvis rams into my body and I scream loud. My whole body shutters, and his inevitable eviction from my warmth has arrived. He pouts, and kisses my cheek.

“What was that for?” he asks, slowly caressing my nipple. He nibbles and licks my neck lustfully. “Hmm? What did I do to you?”

“Am I really a minx?” I bite his nipple playfully, and trail kisses down his abdomen. My hands slowly bring his member back to a fully aroused state. “I would prefer something that didn’t imply that I was a slut, but I suppose minx is fine.” I sigh in ecstasy as he enters me once more.

“Oh. The minx likes that?” His motions quicken. He brings me to a fully aroused state. He kisses me passionately.

Then rolls onto his side of the bed.

My eyes fly open. “What… the hell… are you doing?” I seethe. “You can’t do that to me. Again. You did this last night. I can’t handle this shit.”

And yet he sleeps quietly next to me. Darkness wraps me in her silk sheets, and binds me down. I never was good at the sleep part of life. Insomnia is my closest friend in the wee hours of the night, and I usually find myself with a deep lack of sleep. Being hopped up on caffeinated beverages is my remedy.

Tonight I realize just how alone I feel lying next to the one who should fulfill me. So I quietly leave the bed. I pack my belongings quietly, kiss you lightly on the forehead, and steal away into the night.

Do you realize how much I truly cared for you while all I got was lukewarm feelings reciprocated? I wonder as I walk into the hellish night that has become my true existence.

____________

I wrote this one for a friend.