Pananatili

Huwag mong naising lisanin kita;
Wala 'kong hangaring ika'y mag-isa.
Sa'n man magtungo, ako'y sasabay,
Magkabalikat sa paglalakbay.

Mananahan sa tahanang sisilong sa 'yo,
Yayakapin ang landasin at bayan mo.

Poon mo ay aking ipagbubunyi
At iibigin nang buong sarili.
Sa'n man abutin ng paghahanap,
Ikaw at ako'y magkasamang ganap.

Ipahintulot nawa ng Panginoon:
Ni kamataya'y maglalaho, anino ng kahapon.

Dahil pag-ibig ang alay sa 'yo, mananatili ako.
H'wag nang naising tayo'y mawalay,
H'wag nang isiping
Magwawakas ang paglalakbay.

kufal: Episode II

"Sumakay ka na nga! Mauna ka na, magtataxi na lanag ako! I can take care of myself... Di mo naman ako love eh..."

We decided to call it a night (ay, morning na yun eh... its almost 3 am already). Me, being the gentleman that I am (hahaha, gentleman! lolz) opted to let him get the first cab to come along our way. But he insist that I should go already because I told him that I am still meeting some friends for a coffee at cafe adriatico. But I insisted I get him a cab first.

"Hmpft, nag iinarte pa eh di mo naman ako love..." he said.

I just returned him a smile because until that time I still cant find it in my heart what I truly feel for him. Siguro nga kasi medyo natatakot ako sa kanya. I was practically threathen by his lifestyle. Although admittedly, I barely know the real him.

The cab came and with a hand its stopped for us and he quickly went in. Then I went my way to see my friends at cafe adriatico.

That meeting was followed by another and another... until...

(to be continued)

Am I a Bad Son?

Early this morning while preparing mah self for work. I over heard my mom and lolo talking about my dad. The usual stuff about him really: IRRESPONSIBILITY as the basic theme of their discussion. When all of the sudden their little chit chat was focus on me and "HOW (according to them) I AM STARTING TO BE LIKE MY TATAY."

I felt really Bad.

Dont get me wrong. Yes, there are things about my tatay that I hate but nevertheless I have given him all the respect he deserve like any ordinary son to his father will give. It is just that it is somewhat unfair that nanay and lolo connecting me with my tatay's childlike attitude.

According to them I am like my dad, I am a good for nothing night life person who thinks about nothing but my own personal satisfaction. WALA NA DAW AKO GINAWA KUNDI MAGPUYAT NG WALANG KAWAWAAN!

Because of that I am as IRRESPONSIBLE CHILD LIKE MY TATAY!

I am working like no other ordinary man will work. A GOOD STRAIGHT SIXTEEN HOURS A DAY! not because I wanted to, BUT because I NEEDED to. I am financially obliged to do so and contrary to what they are saying that I am all for the good of my own self but because it is as if I am trying to breathe life to Three Families. I am an instant Family Man. I have to fill up the needed resources for me and mom, my lolo and lola, and my dad's other family.

Yes, I frequently go out... ON A WEEKEND! Simply because thats the only time I can commune with myself and at least protect my sanity. Thats the only time for me to pacify my soul from leaving me...

And they are calling me IRRESPONSIBLE for trying to keep myself sane in everything that is passing me every week.

Yes, I did try to convey to them the reason why I am going out. But still for them, it is just a fucking waste of time and money. A fucking waste of the less than 20% money left in me from mah two jobs because the greater 80% is strictly measured to the so called "family responsibility". Whew!

Sorry about this blog... I just needed an outlet. I came into work with a heavy heart, trying my best to conceal the dagger seemingly upon my heart screwing it severely... I pray someday they will find that time to really listen to me. Someday... I just hope its not too late.

kufal: Episode I

"Hoy kufal ang hirap mo hanapin dito sa downelink ah!"


This is the sweetest message I ever received in mah downelink account and Whew! everything is rushing like a speeding bullet and love's bullet got my straight in my heart!

...At sa kapangyarihan ng mga diwata ng Engcantadia....


"OPO, NAGMAMAHAL NA MULI SI CAIRO!"

Ive known him for quite sometime now, at wala lang... He never had my attention before. Dont get me wrong... He is gorgeously cute (naks, naman... mwuah to you!) But there is something in him that really scares me... For one, i think he is young for me (as if naman nagkaroon ako ng partner na mas matanda sa akin. Argh! meron nga pala, hehehe!)Plus, i feel he is just someone apt for a one night stand. I just came out of a relationship, and I personally feel so fragile and scared even about little things. At siyempre me halo na rin pagpapakipot. (lolz!)

I did send him a message in downelink with my mobile number of course.

August 5, 2005
Friday

"Hoy kufal, Musta?"

Nagtxt na si "kufal!"

After a series of exchanging messages, we decided to meet that night. At kahit medyo ngarag sa trabaho si ako... cge punta ako, besides i was planning to go out that night. I feel so damn stress with work and a good air of the outside world can do magic for me....

That night
11:00 Pm

Nauna ako sa place at wala pa ang kufal! Argh!
Pinagtripan lang ata ako! Grrr....

I got mah drink... roam around and then I heard....

"Hoy kufal! Kufal kanina ka pa?"

I am trying to recognize his face, its been a while since we saw each other. and when... BANG!

"Who the fuck is he with?"

There is this old fellow in his early 40s with him on his table talking to him, while he is sipping his iced tea.

I got a mah self another drink and lighted a cigarette, occasionally disturb by the old guy as he occassionally glance at me when they continously talked about something.

Alas! The oldie left him, as I started to approach his table...

"so, who is the guy?" i asked.

"someone who is trying to hit on me." he answered back grinning.

"so... what happen? where is he going?" asking him back.

"sabi ko sa kanya... you are the only reason kung bakit ako nagpunta dito.. and for sure magagalit ka if a continously entertain him..."

"lapitin talaga ako ng nga matatanda!" he continued, and still giving that close up smile.

I just smiled back......
(We have 7 years age gap)

to be continued....

Let's Talk about SEX.

One day I found myself sending a message (a group text) to people on my phone directory and ask them one question:


What is SEX?

So let's Talk about Sex...


"Sex is powerful, SEX is Joy, SEX is Hapinness, SEX is beautiful, SEX is Sacred, ah ewan basta SEX is SEX!"
- Marvin
(Marvin is a dentist somewhere in Quezon City)

"Hmmm... SEX... that's tricky. c",) I guess SEX is a very important intimate moment you share with someone you really like. You don't have to LOVE the person, but like him/her to the point that you feel your day isn't complete without spending time with that person."
- Mac

"SEX for me is an expression of who we really are. TRUE SEX, we are LIBERATED. NO qualms and inhibitions, no alter egos. Just plain you. SEX is the beginning of Everything and can be the end as well."

- Brew
(This guy is so in love with garfield... So i call him PUSSY!)

"Well SEX for me is the mostimportant thing that both inlove individuals shared. I really enjoy this with person i love most and not with a stranger who think that they can get you easily. I treasure this thing a lot so i am not going to do or have it with someone i dont love. It is a most sacred thing that we should give importance."

- Arnold

"SEX is CAIRO, melts in your mouth not in your hands."

- Jayson
(He is a bi male student of the University of Santo Tomas)

"Pare para sa akin ang SEX masarap gawin pag MAHAL mo ang taong ka SEX mo at masarap pag may pagmamahal na kasama at di lang SEX."

- Arthur

"SEX is an ART!"

- Maldito
(Spoken like a true beauty queen. I call him Melanie Marquez with tower height.)

"SEX is basically a process for procreation. It evolved into leisure when humanity has defeated the nature in their primeval struggle. Mahaba ang kasaysayan ng SEX. Putting the concept today, SEX is merely an activity to satisfy a couple or a group's LUST. It is proven to be healthy but there are risks, especially now that venereal desease (STI) are not uncommon. To gay people, SEX can either be arefuge for those who search for an escape route for those lost at heart."

- Kelly
(This guy has a sexy brain. Working for a call center, kelly can talk about anything)

Quotation Marks etc...

"Beneath the dingy uniformity of international fashion... Man remains a savage, a blood Thrist human Being."

- anonymous

(Hmmmm... blood thristy? Whew! I know others guys who are thirsty with something else, and its not colored red!)

"Never Try to Shine in a Barrowed Finery!"

- Jose P. Rizal

(So, charlatan and pure quacks.... STAY AWAY FROM ME!)


"Stay Blessed, Beautiful and Free."

- cairo

(Ei, its from me... stay beautiful guys!)

"I only let you see things I wanted you to see!"

- Ms. Celia Rodriguez

(Isususmbong kita kay Darna!)

"If you cannot be good... Be careful!"

- Joey Ventayen

(Joey is a friend of mine and whenever he made that que I would always laugh my heart out!)

Just Another Day?

Have you ever wonder when you wake up in the morning and found yourself doing the things you have done yesterday? EXACTLY REPEATING THE SAME THINGS YOU HAVE DONE YESTERDAY? Argh!!!!!

It seems to be that our lives is eaten by our days and nights without nothing happening special or at least someone who can pump up the beat of your heart and makes us... Ok, fall in love? Or done anything exciting or worth doing at all?

Sometimes, i cant help but compare myself to sisyphus. (check the spelling, cant really remember how does my Philisophy professor spell his name) Sisyphus is a a greek character (Was He? Hahahahaha) who condemned by the Gods and made him roll a boulder of rock on a mountain slope for the rest of his life. When the he reach the mountain top pushing that boulder, the rock will eventuall roll down again to another slope and there he go again pushing that boulder to the top once more.


There are times in my life that I think i am like him, doing things in routine, wittingly or unwittingly, over and over again. I wake up in the morning, do my morning rituals... go to work... stay there from 8 am to 11 pm, go home and try to catch some sleep to give me strength for just another day

IS IT JUST ANOTHER DAY?

Nah, everyday single is a miracle. It is a miracle that you wake from slumberous death. Each breath we take is magic. Each day is new challenge to make each better than what you have yesterday. Challenges that each single days offers is building up our character for the better. (or for the worse if we choose it to be that way.) Moulding us to be a much greater warrior of life as each days and and each nights hunts us.

Yes, LIFE IS ONE GREAT BATTLEFIELD. The cliche, we are living in a world that only thestrong survive. The Survival of the Fittest analogy is all much true. THE WEAKLINGS ARE LEFT BEHIND TO DIE, THEY PERISH WITH A SAD HEART BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT THAT IT WAS JUST ANOTHER DAY...

I Feel so Down.

sigh.

The Power of Three

(The Power of Three: from left: Kiddo, Me and Jed)


Last Friday Night, I am with my two bestfriends! (bloodline lang kulang sa amen pero they are brothers in heart!) We partied at Government until four in the morning! (Shucks!)

Kinda bored really, it is our first time there and No offense to the people there but the crowd is really... Well just go there and get the picture for yourself.

Since we cant do anything that very moment because it will be such a drag if you move to malate at that hour (we came in around eleven pm. So we just try to enjoy ourselves and enjoy the party! Well we dance the whole night!

Jed: Cairo, ang tigas ng bewang mo!!!

Cairo: Hahahaha

But i get to dance with someone. (wink)

I hope makalabas kame ulet.

this is my song

listen just hear me out
yes i know we agreed
when we break up we'd never give in to this need
to admit to each other
i miss you

listen just hear my cry
no i won't break my word
if i do say i miss you it would never be heard
let my heart whisper
all that it needs to

how could you make me take a start?
then just leave me here hanging
can't even say how i'm feeling
how could you make then break my heart?
if i can't say that i miss you
let me say one last thing

i miss him
and all the things he could do
yes/oh, i miss him
just as much as i miss you
oh, i miss him
i know you're wondering who
yes, i miss him
i miss the man i was with you
oh i would never be the same

listen just hear my voice
can you hear all the tears?
that i'm planning to hide
for the next thousand years
just as long as you know that
i love you

how could you make me take a start?
then just leave me here hanging
can't even say how i'm feeling
how could you make then break my heart?
if i can't say that i miss you
let me say one last thing

i miss him
and all the things he could do
yes/oh, i miss him
just as much as i miss you
oh, i miss him
i know you're wondering who
yes, i miss him
i miss the man i was with you

how can i blind then find the light?
how can i find the kind of right?
how could you take away my sight?
how could you lose me in the night?
then you took away the heart in me
now i'm losing this fight
no i would never ever be the same

ooh.. ohh

oh, i miss him
and all the things he could do
yes, i miss him
just as much as i miss you
oh i miss him
i know by now you know who
yes, i miss him
i know by now you know who
i miss him
i miss the man i was with you

oh, i would never be the same

still

It's been a long time since i cried
And left you out of the blue
It's hard
Leaving you the way
When i never really wanted to
Self denial
Is a game so strange I never really should've wanted
Til there was you
Cause I have learned that love was beyond
What human can imagine
More it clears
The more I gotta let you go
'cause what I don't understand
Is why I'm feeling so bad now
When I know it was my idea
I could've just denied the truth and lied
Now why am I the only one standing stranded
On the same ground
It's been a long time since i cried
And left you out of the blue
It's hard
Leaving you the way
When I never really wanted to
Self denial
Is a game so strange I never really should've wanted
Til there was you
Cause I have learned that love
Is a word just thrown
A little bit too much of this
Excuse to fill this infinite of desire
And nevere ever have to fade
Cause what i don't understand
Is why I'm feeling so bad now
When I know it was my idea
I could've just denied the truth and lied
Now why am I the only one standing stranded
On the same ground
If all else fail
Would you be there to love me?
When all else fails
Would you be brave to see right through me?

On Life's Lesson.

Every situation is a lesson to be learned. From the most mundane chores to the most complex projects, life is always ready to teach you something.

Life is ready to teach when you are willing to learn. And the more you learn from what life offers, the better life becomes.

The lessons are usually not all that obvious. Yet they are there if you will think to take a look. The lessons are there in every moment, in every dilemma, in every frustration and every joy. They are there in every sadness, every victory, every discomfort and every pleasure.

Each lesson you learn paves the way for a new and even more valuable one. Each lesson you ignore keeps coming back, again and again.

One way or another, life will teach you its lessons. When you're a willing student, those lessons are pure gold.

The Harm Arguements

The ancient Roman Emperor Justinian believed that homosexuality was the cause of earthquakes, plagues, famine, and various other maladies. Modern-day critics have been only slightly less creative in their allegations. Homosexuality has been blamed for the breakdown of the family, the AIDS crisis, sexual abuse in the priesthood — even the September 11th attacks. It sometimes seems as if the entire nation's infrastructure hinges on my sex life. (Well, not just mine, but I'm willing to do my part.)

Let us put aside the ridiculous allegations and focus on the more plausible ones. If homosexuality were indeed harmful to individuals or society, that would seem to provide a significant moral strike against it. But is it really harmful? And do the allegations prove what the critics claim — namely, that homosexuality is morally wrong?

Consider one of the more common charges: that homosexuality causes AIDS. On a straightforward reading, this claim is simply false. The HIV virus causes AIDS, and without the virus present homosexual people can have as much sex as they like without worrying about AIDS. (Fatigue, yes; AIDS, no.)

But the critics doubtless mean something a bit more sophisticated: namely, that (for men) homosexual sex is statistically more likely to transmit the HIV virus than heterosexual sex. This claim is true (given various significant qualifications), but it is unclear what follows. For consider the fact that, for women, heterosexual sex is statistically more likely to transmit the HIV virus than homosexual sex. Yet no one concludes from this that the Surgeon General ought to recommend lesbianism, or that lesbianism is morally superior to female heterosexuality. There are simply too many steps missing in the argument.

The general form of the harm argument seems to be the following:


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It is not as if the increased visibility of homosexuality will lead people to flee from heterosexual marriage in droves. After all, the usual response to a gay person is not, 'No fair! How come he gets to be gay and I don't?'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Premise (1) Homosexual sex is risky.
Premise (2) Risky behavior is immoral.
Conclusion: Therefore, homosexual sex is immoral.
Both premises are false as written. Some homosexual sex is risky, as is some heterosexual sex, not to mention many activities that are not sexual at all. Some risky behavior is immoral, but much is not. To take just one example: people who live in two-story houses are at a demonstrably higher risk for serious accidents than those who live in one-story houses, and yet (thankfully) no one believes that ranch houses are morally mandatory.

But what about risks to non-consenting parties? If I choose to reside in a two-story house, thereby increasing my risk of accidents (especially while donning my Norma Desmond costume and dramatically prancing up and down the staircase), most people would consider that "my business." But if I willfully impose risks on unsuspecting others, I can rightfully be blamed. Does homosexuality involve such "public" risks?

Here's where the arguments begin to get creative. My favorite was offered by a priest who was offended by a lecture I gave ten years ago at a Catholic university. "Of course homosexuality is bad for society," he wrote in an angry letter to the school paper. "If everyone were homosexual, there would be no society."

Perhaps. But if everyone were a Catholic priest, there would be no society either. As the philosopher Jeremy Bentham quipped over 200 years ago, if homosexuals should be burnt at the stake for the failure to procreate, "monks ought to be roasted alive by a slow fire." Besides, even if there were an absolute moral obligation to procreate (which there is not), it would not preclude homosexual sex for those who had children through other means. Sorry, Father.

More recently, critics have been fond of blaming homosexuals for their "threat to the family." This too is perplexing. Homosexual people come from families (contrary to rumor, we are not hatched full grown in a factory in West Hollywood). Many of us are quite devoted to our families, and an increasing number are forming families of our own. Provided that these families embody love, generosity, commitment — in short, family values — where's the problem?

It is not as if the increased visibility of homosexuality will lead people to flee from heterosexual marriage in droves. After all, the usual response to a gay person is not, "No fair! How come he gets to be gay and I don't?" Which raises a crucial point: heterosexual marriage is right for some but not for everyone. To pressure homosexual people into such marriages (through so-called "reparative therapy," for example) is generally bad for them, bad for their spouses, and bad for their children.

If we're really concerned with preventing harm, we ought to begin by acknowledging this fact. Some people are happier in heterosexual relationships; some are happier in homosexual relationships; some are happier alone. When our fellow human beings are happy, that's good for them and it's good for us. Any "morality" that fails to recognize this doesn't deserve the name.

Bible: On Homosexuality

MANY PEOPLE claim that homosexuality is wrong because “The Bible says so.” This claim rests on two presuppositions:

(1) The Bible condemns homosexual conduct. (2) The Bible is a good moral guide.

Each of these raises questions. Regarding the first: does the Bible condemn all homosexual conduct, or just some? And which Bible are we talking about? (Remember that in addition to the numerous editions of the Judeo-Christian Bible, there are also countless other religious texts that claim divine authority. Given our tendency toward cultural myopia, it bears repeating that the vast majority of the world's inhabitants are not Christians.)

Regarding the second presupposition: is the Bible infallible, or might it contain some error? If the latter, how do we distinguish true moral teaching from that which simply reflects the authors' prejudices? Consider, for example, two passages — one from the Old Testament and one from the New — that seem pretty clearly to endorse slavery:

“[Y]ou may acquire male and female slaves ƒ from among the aliens residing with you, and from their families that are with you, who have been born into your land; and they may be your property. You may keep them as a possession for your children after you, for them to inherit as property.” (Leviticus 25: 44-46)

“Slaves, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, in singleness of heart, as you obey Christ” (Ephesians 6:5).

Faced with such morally troubling passages, the reader has one of three options:

(A) Deny that the passages really endorse slavery. But this seems rather difficult to do, especially given the references to “property” in the first quotation, which was allegedly spoken by God himself.

(B) Maintain that the Bible contains no error and concede that slavery may be morally acceptable. Not surprisingly, few believers take this approach (though the case was quite different 150 years ago, when slave-owning Christians often cited these passages). This option ought forcefully to be rejected. Surely one should have more confidence in the wrongness of slavery than in the inerrancy of the quoted text. Which leaves us withƒ

(C) Acknowledge that the Bible contains some error. To admit this is not to claim that God makes mistakes. Perhaps humans have erred in interpreting God's will: after all, one should not confuse complete faith in God with complete faith in human ability to discern God's voice.

Option (C) comes at a cost, however. Once you have admitted that the Bible contains error, you cannot simply use “The Bible says X” as if it were an airtight justification of X. This is as true for homosexuality as it is for slavery.

Is the Bible thus rendered useless? Not at all. The Bible is a valuable account of the experience of past believers, and it can teach important lessons on matters both moral and non-moral. But to quote its passages on controversial issues without paying attention to its historical context is to diminish its richness. Fundamentalists do the Bible no honor when they treat “The Bible says X” as if it were the last word, rather than a piece of a larger puzzle regarding human longing for truth and meaning.

Which brings me to another point. Critics often suspect that there's something self-serving about “revisionist” readings of scripture by pro-gay scholars. In some cases, the critics are right. But the revisionist readings are also motivated by honest recognition of a tension between the apparent evidence of scripture and the apparent evidence of our experience. If God is the creator of all things, surely God reveals divine intentions in our lived experience and not merely in an ancient text. (Besides, if you don't generally trust your own experience, why trust your experience of the text?) And if our lived experience teaches us that homosexual relationships can be loving and nurturing, there's something incongruous about the idea that a benevolent God would condemn them.

How then do we explain the handful of passages that seem to condemn homosexuality? Biblical interpretation is a complex matter, and I can only scratch its surface here. (For a more thorough treatment, see Daniel Helminiak's What the Bible Really Says about Homosexuality.) But let me suggest that these passages, like the passages on slavery, strongly reflect the cultural circumstances of the authors. More specifically, they reflect (1) the fragility of the authors' communities and a corresponding emphasis on procreation for the sake of community survival, (2) a distaste for Greek pederasty, and (3) a distaste for various pagan practices that included ritual homosexual conduct.

If the Biblical authors had these features in mind when they wrote about homosexuality, then what they were discussing is quite different from what we are discussing. In that light, using Biblical passages to condemn contemporary homosexuality looks much like using them to support nineteenth-century American slavery — a reflection of the reader's prejudices, rather than an honest assessment of the moral facts.

On Homosexuality and Morality.

THE HOLIDAY SEASON is upon us, and with it come holiday dinners, which can be hazardous to your health. This is not because the dinners are fattening or because you might choke on the wishbone. It's because holiday dinners mean extended family gatherings, and your family can drive you crazy.

This is true even under the best of circumstances. But holidays are especially fraught with danger. Maybe it's the eggnog, or maybe it's the fact that when people buy you gifts they feel entitled to “express themselves”. Whatever the reason, these occasions give your relatives the wacky notion that they ought to tell you precisely how they feel about your lifestyle: “It's none of my business, really, but you're going to hell. Now please pass the eggnog.”

“My lifestyle? Hello, I live in kamanava area. Nobody here has a lifestyle!” But by this point Aunt Sally has moved on to the next offensive remark.

Never fear, dear reader: I've got your back. For over the next several weeks, I'm going to do a series of columns on homosexuality and morality. The point of these (aside from helping me to pay for my extravagant Christmas shopping) is to provide you with ammunition in the face of anti-gay attacks. The columns will be based on my lecture “What's Morally Wrong With Homosexuality?” which I've developed and presented around the country for the last ten years.

Let's begin with a thought experiment. Suppose I told you that reading the newspaper is morally wrong.

“Why?”, you might ask. “Does it corrupt the mind? Is it produced by child labor? Is newsprint environmentally unsound?”

“No,” I answer. “None of those things. It's wrong because you might get ink on your fingers, and ink-stained fingers are an intrinsic moral evil.”

The above exchange might lead you to think I had been hitting the eggnog a bit early. My claim about the morality of newspaper reading makes no sense — for two reasons. First, moral claims are only as good as the reasons that back them up. Second, those reasons must have some genuine connection with human well-being: not just any reason is a moral reason.

And this fact bears repeating: morality has a point. That's why the idea that ink-stained fingers are evil is just — well, stupid. Typically, ink on your fingers won't hurt anybody. It won't detract from your or your neighbors' well-being. There's no good reason to condemn it.

What about homosexuality? Most arguments against homosexuality fall into three broad categories: (1) the Bible condemns it; (2) it's harmful; and (3) it's unnatural. Over the next three columns I'll address each of these in turn.

But before I turn to the arguments against homosexuality, I want to state a preliminary argument in favor of it: namely, that homosexual relationships make some people happy.

To say this is not to settle the matter. Some things that seem to make us happy at first glance are better avoided in the long run. Whether homosexuality is one of those things depends on the success of the arguments in the next several columns.

Rather, to say that homosexual relationships make some people happy is to create a burden of proof for the other side. Most everyone recognizes that falling in love and expressing that love sexually are sublime human experiences. Romantic relationships can be an avenue of communication, of emotional growth, and of lasting interpersonal fulfillment. Anyone who would deny this opportunity to homosexual people had better have a good reason. Do they? Join me for the next several weeks as we explore this issue.

And as we do so, please remember: morality is not the exclusive domain of our opponents. Exhausted by the moralizing of Aunt Sally — not to mention Jerry Falwell, Dr. Laura, and their ilk — we might sometimes be tempted to reject the practice altogether. And then we start to believe the fallacy that “Morality is strictly a private matter.”

Nonsense. Morality is about how we treat one another — and that's very much a matter for public concern. It's about fairness and justice. It's about what matters to us — not just as a personal preference, but as a standard for public behavior. We have as much right to espouse such standards as anyone else — indeed, even more right, insofar as reason is on our side. And that's precisely what I'm going to argue over the next several weeks.

still on loving...

One day, Plato asked his teacher, "What is love? How can I find it?"

The teacher answered, "There's a large wheat field in front. Walk there without turning back, and take just one leaf. If you can find one leaf that you think is extraordinary than all the other leaves, it means you have found love."

So Plato walked... and not long after that, he came back empty handed. The teacher asked him, "Why didn't you bring any leaf?"

Plato replied, "I can only bring just one leaf and when I walk, I can't turn back. Actually, I have found one extraordinary leaf, but I dont know whether there's anymore extraordinary leaf ahead, so I didn't take that leaf. When I walked further, I realized that all the other leaves I found are not as extraordinary as I've found previously. In the end, I didn't take any single leaf."

Then the teacher told him, "So... that is love.... and you lost it!"


Another day, Plato asked his teacher again, "What is marriage? How do I know that I have found it?"

The teacher answered, "There is a forrest in front. Please walk there and don't look back. You can only cut one tree, and cut the one that you think is the highest, because that means you have found marriage."

Plato walks there, and he came back not long after that bringing one tree. The tree is not a very good tree and not a very tall one either. It's just a plain and ordinary tree.

The teacher asked him, "Why did you cut that kind of tree?"

Plato answered, "Because, according to my previous experience, after walking thru the wheat field, I came back with nothing. So this time, when I saw this tree, and I think this tree is not so bad, I decided to cut it and bring it here. I don't want to risk loosing it again."

And the teacher said, "Well... that is marriage and you found it! Marriage is the continuity of love... The more you look for love, you will find nothing... Love is in your heart... the place where you can control your desire and your hope to find something better... When you have endless hope and wish of love, you will only get emptiness .. because you wont get anything and time can notbe turned back. Accept love for what it is... Marriage is a process of taking chances, and you choose the best option among all the alternatives... If you want to have a perfect match and a perfect marriage, you are wasting time... because there is no perfect marriage."

Unfolding Love

Like most of us I am frequently asked by the question, "WHAT IS LOVE??" or "HOW DO YOU DEFINE LOVE?".
But really, what is LOVE?
Allow me then to quote my "prophet" Khalil Gibran


Then said Almitra, "Speak to us of Love."
And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them.

And with a great voice he said:

When love beckons to you follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.

He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;

And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God."

And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.

To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

On Loving

"Sometimes, in our relentless efforts to find the person we love we fail to recognize and appreciate the people who love us. We miss out on so many beautiful things and simply because we allow ourselves to been slaved by our own selfish concerns. Go for the man of deeds and not for the man of words for you will find rewarding happiness not with the man you love but the man who loves you more.The best lovers are those who are capable of loving from a distance, far enough to allow the other person to grow, but never too far to feel the love deep within your being.

To let go of someone doesn't mean you have to stop loving, it only means that you allow that person to find his own happiness without expecting him to come back. Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but it is also setting yourself free from all bitterness, hatred, and anger that keep in your heart. Do not let the bitterness rare away your strength and weaken your faith,and never allow pain to dishearten you, but rather let you grow with wisdom in bearing it.

You may found peace in just loving someone from a distance not expecting anything in return. But be careful, for this can sustain life but can never give enough room for us to grow. We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past but real peace and happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is today.There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and beautiful and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon become a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just a friendship.

We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves. You don't have to forget someone you love. What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself. Believe me, you would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving. Don't let your heart run your life, be sensible and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well.

Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow: If you lose love that doesn't mean that you failed in love. Cry, if you have to, but make it sure that the tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you. Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you. And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime.

There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle The other is as though everything is a miracle