G4M - LMS Round One

Here is the Official Category 1 Round 1 "The Recycled Fashion Look" Results.

ROUND 1: The Recycled Fashion Look

The photo must recreate a high fashion lay-out using only recyclable items for the outfit.

ROUND 1 FINALIST#10 (DAN) ENTRY COMMENTS

Here are the comments / critiques for FINALIST 10

I thought I was seeing the Next Iron Chef. But the items you used excited me. That is very creative. Even though much was covered, I can still see the slouch. I can see that you are not relaxed. You are pushing yourself into something else that it did not match the intensity your clothes had generated. I liked the squint, but it is a bit contrived.

This is the twist wherein the concept picture looks bad as compared to the recreated picture but both already used recyclable materials and are not fashionable. It looks as if a school presentation from his childhood. The model lost the fashion sense of this theme but focused on too much recycling.

Highs: Well used light.

Lows: You based your entry on a silly picture/peg… Why? This competition should not be taken lightly if you want to be successful.

ROUND 1 FINALIST#9 (CJ) ENTRY COMMENTS

Here are the comments / critiques for FINALIST 9

The concept and execution is good because he chose to actually re-enact the whole scene. I just wished he copied everything except for the facial expression of the girl because it looked awkward than being sexy. Nice try but I expect a better next round.

Now, this is truly a literal interpretation of the go green concept. The effort is outstanding and you visually translated the theme into reality. The effort you took to do this is commendable. As a model, you are still raw. You can still improve in the succeeding rounds. Overall, this is a safe entry. You will be able to do more in the next rounds.

Highs: Nice attempt. I love how you use a simple rice sack and made it look like a denim.

Lows: Neck down it's good. Face, mmm. Practice your facial expression. All I can see is your nostrils. Experiment on what looks good on you.

ROUND 1 FINALIST#8 (MAKI) ENTRY COMMENTS

Here are the comments / critiques for FINALIST 8:

Highs: wow!!! Speechless. I love it…

Lows: I don't like the background. I don't like the hair.

Almost all used plastics and I am having second thoughts whether plastics is indeed recyclable. You can project. The effort into creating the entry is obvious. The contrasting steel bar where you sat gave your photo contrast. You could have done something on your hair to make you more fierce, but that is ok. Only that you looked so small with your undulating trail. It is hugging the limelight out of you.

The concept picture overshadowed the recreated picture in terms of projection and even the clothing. It lacks intensity in the face, make-up, and the touch of red. The concept picture is a clever choice and I just wished it was given more justice.

ROUND 1 FINALIST#7 (RAYMOND CRIS) ENTRY COMMENTS

Here are the comments / critiques for FINALIST 7:

Highs: Now this is something I would use in a magazine. Nicely done. Good job!!!

Lows: You should have used your entire body in this picture. Please crop appropriately.

I liked the playful attitude. I like the way you handled color. I like the concept because it shows variety. But you may have looked a little bit awkward, or maybe that was how you conceptualized this. You looked like a discarded doll thrown away by a very bratty child. But the use of recycled materials was very very creative.

The model adhered to the theme but putting the two pictures side by side makes me wonder if it was really recreated. I love the garment because it looks Avant Garde while the make-up is gothic but the face lacks the necessary emotion to carry the entire look.

ROUND 1 FINALIST#6 (KHALEL) ENTRY COMMENTS

Here are the comments/critiques for FINALIST 6

The recyclable material is not that obvious and well utilized especially using a B/W effect. This looks like a second rate copycat of the concept picture. The eyes, again is dead as compared to the concept picture where you can still feel the intensity though it is a side view shot.

Now, you caught me flat-footed. Not only the effort showed as you integrated the green into the outfit itself and not the background, surely will make your entry worth noticing. I like the way you handled yourself. You are so full of confidence and I was impressed. That is more than enough for me.

Highs: Neck down it works for me…

Lows: Gee man. This is not recycled!!! I'm sorry but you paled miserably because of your un adherance to the theme. Your side view did not work for you. You should have just taken the inspiration from the pic and did your own interpretation.

ROUND 1 FINALIST#5 (CHRIS) ENTRY COMMENTS

Here are the comments / critiques for FINALIST 5:

My problem with this picture is that the concept picture looks better than the recreated picture in terms of the overflowing use of sex appeal. I salute the model for taking risk in showing his body w/c is in a way appealing but his face does not relate w/ what he wants to relay. It will also adhere more to the concept if he used a recyclable material instead of wearing his undies.

I liked the vastness of the background with all the newspapers around. I like Chris' bareness. I liked the brown floors. Truly earthy. The model - I liked the way his photographer did with the lights and focusing on him without suffocating him. He is sexy but not flirting. But he looked nervous. And I find him a little bit stiff, or was that supposed to be intentional? One good thing, he did not get drowned with the stacks of newspaper hugging the background.

I’m so SORRY though, i just realized that Chris was not wearing a recyclable outfit.
In this bareness, I got distracted by the newspapers around. a great photo though, but I must abide by the rules "The photo must recreate a high fashion lay-out using only recyclable items for the outfit."

He was not wearing any outfit at all to see the recycled materials. A bubbly bathrobe made of plastics can hardly qualify for something that is recycled.

Highs: I like your bubble wrap robe. It was hard for me to distinguish though.

Lows: You look like a miniature on the background you used. Your facial expression looks awkward. Practice on the mirror and be more expressive.

ROUND 1 FINALIST#4 (NJAMES) ENTRY COMMENTS

Here are the comments / critiques for FINALIST 4:

Highs: Nice photography. The natural lighting looks good on you.

Lows: Dude, you have a nice body. Use it!!! Sad to say, you cannot bank on your face alone. You look sad on your photo. Take risks… It might do you good.

I am overwhelmed by this batch. They have practically the same quality. Expressive Eyes! I admire the soft tone rendition of Njames' entry. The balance in which he crafted this entry is worth mentioning. He carefully took care of highlighting the theme, without taking the focus on him. The effect is gratifying because of that selflessness. The overall effect is simple serenity, fluidity.

Again the concept picture shined better than the recreated picture. It lacked the intensity especially in the eyes and use of facial muscles. The clothing looks elaborate but it fades away in terms of being chic and fashionable. This for me is a good but not a great execution.

ROUND 1 FINALIST#3 (RAFEE) ENTRY COMMENTS

Here are the comments/critiques for FINALIST 3:

Whew! I did not recognized you. You almost blew me over the top. The make-up is superb! And your fashion sense was never in doubt. But, there is something amiss. The description of what you added as recycled materials made me think - plastic straw? Aluminum foil? I never thought that they can be recycled though. But you blended them well in your portrayal. Only, it has lessened the impact I wanted to see "green" in your entry. They seem to be a little way off with your glamorous outfit.

Highs: Simply gorgeous. Well thought of. I didn't even notice that you are wearing a newspaper. Good Job. I hope you will be consistent…

Lows: The eyes look a little dead to me. You have a beautiful eyes, show it!!! Avoid hiding your neck. I would love to see you next on a full body picture.

This picture is amazing from all angles starting from the concept picture up to the execution. The model made the cheap materials look chic and fashionable. I also love the subtle and yet glamorous pose and eye contact. You set the bar high.

ROUND 1 FINALIST#2 (RODGE) ENTRY COMMENTS

Here are the comments/critiques for FINALIST #2

Highs: Nice face. Nice make-up. If I were to just judge you on your face. You'll be at the top of my list.

Lows: What we're you thinking when you put a nasty bag on your head? I doesn't work for me and to the theme for this week. It's not even fashion.

This is a very weak concept starting from the concept picture up to the actual execution. It was unimaginative and the item is not recyclable but more of a second hand accessory. One thing I appreciate is the way in which the model showed his eyes … and that made a slight difference and impact.

Hmm, surprisingly, very creative. Your depiction is strange. A macho Red Riding Hood! And very macho with the ropes. The red motif has overpowered you but you matched this with your very expressive eyes. Was that a leather hood? I was looking for a theme to go green but I didn’t see it.

Or was that so subtle that I cannot even detect it? Were it not for your creative rendering following the inspiration derived from the photo you sent, I would not have seen the theme at all. You really have the eyes. And that was your advantage.

ROUND 1 FINALIST#1 (ONI) ENTRY comments

Here are the comments / critiques for FINALIST 1:

Highs: The way he looks at the camera is enough to get an attention.

Lows: It looks ordinary to me. Nothing special. His facial expression lacks that factor to be considered as fierce.

The black and white motif was one that impressed me the most. some misgivings. I do not know if it is the strength or the weakness, but the dim intensity of the background made me ambivalent. As to the theme, there can be no doubt you stuck to it, but honestly I do not see the model, but rather a silhouette. Safe, so far. The black and white motif saved the day for you.

I prefer looking at the concept picture rather than the recreation. The original pic oozes a lot of sex appeal w/c is not present in the recreated picture. The face and eyes are dead and I see a very predictable recycled clothing. This will not create a good first impression.

________________

Finalist Number 10 was eliminated in the First Round.

The Last Model Standing

"the judges"

"the finalist"

G4M's "General Chat" Forum in cooperation with Glamworx Productions

welcome you to the G4M - Last Model Standing Cycle 2 Competition Mechanics

G4M - LAST MODEL STANDING
Cycle 2 Mechanics

The mechanics of the competition proper are as follows:

1. Every week, the contestants will submit a photo of themselves based on the weekly theme. The deadline for the pic to be e-mailed to the contest coordinator is Saturday night, 9:00 PM. No pic merits automatic elimination. The e-mail addresses are glamworxproductions@gmail.com

The theme for the following week will also be announced every Saturday.

2. The judges' comments on the submitted photos will be posted in the blog and in the thread. Votes, however, will be submitted to the contest coordinator through either private messaging or e-mail. The judges will choose who they want to be the Model of the Week, as well as who they want to eliminate.

The judges must submit a 1st choice and a 2nd choice. Results will be primarily based on the 1st choice. The 2nd choice will only be used if a tie-breaker is needed.

In cases of a tie, the 1st choice will count for 2 points and the 2nd choice will count for 1 point, and the contestant with the most points will either be the Model of the Week or the eliminated contestant, as appropriate.

The deadline for voting is Sunday night, 9:00 PM. We're implementing a 2-strikes-you're-out rule. If you do not submit either your critique or your vote for any 2 of the rounds, you will be eliminated as a judge.

3. The contest coordinator will announce the Model of the Week as well as who is eliminated in a new thread, latest Sunday night 11:00 PM. A new thread will also be created for the new round.

_______

Yes, I am one of the finalist in this Cycle.

_______

for more details please log on to:




or

www.g4m-lms.blogspot.com

Invisible

invisible

I am Invisible

you are invisible

and you were here.

___________________


The Photos are taken by JT
Edited by Vids Coheim

Two of the Most Beautiful Minds Ive Met.
Thanks Guys!

What do you think?

Luna

i've always had a certain degree of fascination with the moon. it's the embodiment of change perpetual with its face waxing and waning constantly each and every month. and it's never so ubiquitous when full. a bright disc in a backdrop of deep black, a full moon illuminates, its halo of light radiating towards a darken earth below. maybe it's these astrophysical attributes of the full moon that lend themselves so easily to its more unsubstantiated metaphysical aesthetics. some people believe that the time of a full moon is something magical as all things possible - both good and bad - are more likely to happen. i think i'm open to believing that now.

one night, feeling very sorry for myself, i saw a waning full moon suspended in the dark sky. having nothing else to lose - not even my ever-present lucidity - i made a wish to that celestial orb, an act that i've not been wont to do before. i asked for strength, for happiness and for someone special to come into my life. maybe it was done out of desperation, maybe for hope. whatever case, it was done in the moment and one forgotten just as quickly.

as i made my way home early saturday morning from an *amazing night out, that familiar sight was again in the sky. partly obstructed by clouds, it raced alongside the cab as i riding on. and looking up, staring uninterrupted into that white, bright orb did i remember the wishes made from the month before.since then i've found strength and happiness - a fact certainly obvious to regular readers of this blog and most especially to my family and friends - though i thought the last one still eluded me. but as i recounted the events of the previous nite in my head, perhaps i had been granted that wish as well.

kisses were exchanged, sentiments shared and even hands were held. the venue and time may have been the same to that of the month before, the circumstances somewhat similar, but the feeling is completely different. there's a positive, open vibe to this. although cautious about getting ahead of myself, i sat there a little while longer, just staring and thinking. when i finally made my way inside, i found myself smiling.

I got my ring back. I have found my new strength.

the moon have heard me well.

The Shower Room

"Are you alright sweetheart?” Jeremy asked, jogging over to the bathroom.

“Were you busy?”

“Just trying to throw together some lunch, nothing that couldn’t wait.” He sat on the edge of the bathtub. “Is there something wrong?”

“No, I was just…” Yan let his voice trail off into silence. The truth was that he just wanted to get Jeremy into the room but he hadn’t gotten as far as to think of an excuse. Perhaps he should have planned better.

Jeremy realized this fairly quickly and decided to play along. He grabbed the bright pink puffball Yan had hanging from the faucet and squeezed some soap on it.

“Here, I’ll wash your back,” he said, gesturing for Yan to turn a little.

“You just want an excuse to touch me.”

“Like that wasn’t your intent?”

Yan remained silent, realizing he was caught. Instead of replying he complied and was soon enjoying the feel of Jeremy carefully washing his skin.

“How are you feeling? You aren’t uh… bruised or anything are you?” Jeremy asked casually.

“I don’t know, maybe you should check.”

Jeremy groaned. “Yan that was weak, even for you.”

“Hey, I had a bad day!” Yan said with a pout. “Cut me some slack, alright?”

Jeremy laughed decided once again to play along. He set down the puffball and reached under the water. Yan tensed as Jeremy’s hand found what it was looking for and squeezed gently, eased up and squeezed again. Jeremy leaned in towards his ear.

“How does that feel?”

Yan opened his mouth but failed to answer. He tried again. “Good, that’s good. No pain there.”

“I’m glad.”

Of course Jeremy didn’t stop, he had no intention of stopping. In fact it only took five minutes for him to be completely stripped and in the bathtub along with Yan. It was a tight fit but they managed with Jeremy sitting behind Yan and Yan leaning back against Jeremy’s chest. It was sexual, but also quite romantic and cozy.

“I really was concerned you might be bruised or something,” Jeremy said, running a soapy hand over Yan’s bare shoulder.

“Thank you. I’ll be okay, nothing that a little vigorous exercise won’t fix.”

“I see.”

“That is, if you’re okay with that idea.”

Jeremy answered with his actions, reaching down and once again wrapping his hand around Yan’s penis. He started stroking gently, doing just enough to get Yan going before he would stop to tease him in other ways. Once again he had Yan completely at his mercy and God that was a wonderful feeling.

“So you’re for it then?” Yan said through labored breathing.

Jeremy kissed Yan’s temple. “Yes.”

“I’m nervous.”

“Huh?” The sudden revelation caused Jeremy to stop his movement and crane his neck to look into Yan’s eyes. “You’re nervous?”

“Yeah. I know it’s stupid, I mean this is hardly my first time but I’m… nervous for some reason.”

Jeremy smiled. “Yan there’s a lot about your sexual past that I don’t know and I’m fine with that, but given what you’ve told me… I’d say this will be your first time.”

“I hope you’re going somewhere deep and meaningful with this because otherwise you’re just going nuts. Jeremy I’ve been with a lot of-“

Jeremy put his finger to Yan’s lips to silence him. “You can make fun of me if you like, call me cheesy, a hopeless romantic or whatever but I believe this will be the first time anyone has ever made love to you. There is a different sweetheart, and this is why it was so important to me that we wait. That night at the club if I had gone back here with you it would have just been sex. Yes I started falling for you the moment you came to talk to me but I wasn’t there yet, I wasn’t head over heels in love like I am now. Now it’s different.”

Yan didn’t know what to say. Jeremy was right of course, he’d had more sex than most people he knew put together but there wasn’t much in the way of emotion to go along with it.

“I’ve always been so confident,” Yan said quietly. “I guess you’re the first guy to ever really know me.”

“And I consider it a privilege.”

Yan smiled. “Come on, let’s get out of the tub.”

He stood and climbed out, Jeremy following close behind. Before Yan could even grab a towel Jeremy had him in his arms and the two were engaged in a very deep kiss. The fact that they were dripping wet never even crossed their minds as they awkwardly made their way to the bed without breaking their connection.

Once they reached the bed Yan broke away in order to lie back on the mattress. Jeremy watched from the bedside, mesmerized by what he viewed as complete perfection. Yan’s pale skin contrasted sharply against the deep purple bedding and the pink of his flushed cheeks gave him an almost innocent appearance. Jeremy stared, knowing the attention was making Yan nervous but not caring. No matter how many times he had seen Yan naked and no matter how many times he would see him naked in the future he would never be seeing him like this again, no one would. This was his alone.

“Jeremy?”

Jeremy smiled at him and joined him in the bed, kissing him immediately. He only briefly lingered on Yan’s mouth however, instead choosing to begin his kisses at Yan’s collar bone and work his way down. He mixed his kisses with gentle bites, tugging just enough at Yan’s flesh to make his breath and heart rate quicken.

“Touch me,” Yan whispered in a pleading tone.

Jeremy shook his head. “Not yet.”

Ignoring the impatient whimpers that soon followed Jeremy continued his path, kissing down Yan’s chest. He chose to ignore the erect nipples that seemed to beg for contact, and once again he heard Yan protest.

“Jeremy!”

“Patience sweetheart,” Jeremy said with a grin.

Yan of course didn’t want to be patient and was going to fight being forced to if possible. What he didn’t realize was that his insistent pleas only fueled Jeremy’s teasing, prolonging the delicious agony.

Jeremy trailed kisses down Yan’s stomach and hips leaving tiny red marks behind as he went and driving Yan completely crazy. He couldn’t understand why Jeremy was purposely avoiding the areas he wanted to be touched most and the frustration was only continuing to grow. Jeremy of course knew exactly what he was doing.

Still ignoring Yan’s whimpers and pleas Jeremy ran his tongue down the inside of one of his thighs. He was almost ready to take things further but he was having a great deal of fun teasing the young man first.


He repositioned himself so that he was between Yan’s legs which he had spread lightly. The erection that was practically screaming for attention awaited him, the small bead of clear fluid calling to be lapped up. Even Jeremy couldn’t resist that kind of plea and soon his mouth was engulfing Yan’s penis. He bobbed his head up and down, holding onto Yan’s hips and urging him to join his rhythm. Yan was eager to oblige, bucking upwards to meet Jeremy’s mouth, abandoning any sense of pride as he tried so desperately to reach his orgasm. He didn’t want to stop, he didn’t think he could stand Jeremy teasing him anymore. Suddenly none of his other lovers had mattered and he was back in his teenage years, young and inexperienced, thinking only of stopping the throbbing sensation in his groin. When he hit the back of Jeremy’s throat he grabbed onto the blanket, ready to come at any second. Thankfully Jeremy didn’t slow down.

“Jeremy,” Yan gasped, the only sound he could make before exploding into his lovers mouth.

Jeremy continued his motion, slowing but not stopping until he was sure that he had milked every last bit of fluid from Yan’s aching penis. When he knew that there was nothing left to give Jeremy lifted his head, licking his lips as he had done before in the hotel room. He then smiled and bent back down, placing the tiniest of kisses on Yan’s skin.

“Are you ready?” he asked without looking up.

It took Yan two tries before he could actually say “yes” and he pointed to the nightstand next to the bed. Jeremy knew exactly what he was getting at and retrieved the lube from the drawer.

“Should I…” Yan breathed, making a motion with his hands that Jeremy could only assume meant “turn around”.

“No sweetheart, this is special, I want to be able to see you.”

Yan nodded and closed his eyes as Jeremy spread the lubricant on his own erection. He then squeezed some onto his index finger and reached between Yan’s thighs, entering him for further lubrication. Yan opened his eyes to see Jeremy grabbing an extra pillow and raised his hips without a word allowing the pillow to be placed beneath him.

“I love you,” Jeremy whispered, staring into Yan’s eyes.

Yan smiled. “I love you t-“

Before the words could even finish leaving his mouth he felt Jeremy enter him, and it became apparent just how long it had been since he had actually had sex. It wasn’t terribly painful but it was something he wasn’t used to.

“Are you okay?” Jeremy asked tenderly.

Yan nodded. “Keep going. You can’t stop now.”

That was all Jeremy needed to hear before he began his thrusts, slowly at first but soon picking up speed. Yan was beautiful beneath him, losing himself in his own ecstasy and not holding anything back. He cried out, raked his nails down Jeremy’s back and as he lost himself to his second orgasm he screamed loudly enough that he the neighbors were sure to hear. The sound alone was enough to push Jeremy over the edge and he soon poured himself into Yan’s warm body, spilling over onto the blanket beneath them.

Neither of them spoke afterwards, Jeremy simply withdrew his softened penis and laid down next to Yan on the bed, coaxing the young man into his arms. They both knew that if they didn’t go clean up now it was going to be hell to take care of later but neither cared. They were satisfied, they were tired and they wanted nothing more than to fall asleep in each other’s arms, so that’s what they did.

______________

Acknowledgment:

Thanks to a dear friend - Mr. Jay Plogman for the beautiful photos.
Guys, if you can catch Jay and his masterpiece at http://jplogman.multiply.com/

Photography for a Cause

I was doing my rounds of daily (b)read when i saw a post of tiggah about pooh modeling for a 2009 calendar of Asian Men Redefined. There was no available photos of pooh in tiggah's site referring to calendar thingy. So motivated by curiosity search google for the said calendar. (Yes! I wanna see how sexy pooh was in the calendar photo.) But strike me about the producer/photographer of Asian Men Redefined.(I just came to know about it from this Tiggah's site). It was for a cause and damn good cause. After scanning the site I feel somehow obliged to ran a campaign (advertisement?) for this project and its cause.

Asian Men Redefined is produced by Dannydan Photography (www.dannydanphoto.com) as a charity cause for Asian & Pacific Islander Wellness Center (www.apiwellness.org). All of the work involved are mainly volunteer effort, either by the photographer, models, crews, and everyone else who help this cause. The 2007 Calendar was the first calendar that was produced in September 2006. The 2007 Calendar has given $1,588.00, which is half of the calendar profit, to Asian & Pacific Islander Wellness Center on May 19th, 2007 at the Banyan Tree event at Metreon, San Francisco. The 2009 Calendar now follows its predecessor and now available for purchase through online and retail stores.

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The Beneficiary: Asian & Pacific Islander Wellness Center

Asian & Pacific Islander Wellness Center (A&PI Wellness Center) is the oldest non-profit HIV/AIDS services organization in North America targeting Asian & Pacific Islander (A&PI) communities.To meet the needs of our clients who are often immigrants orrefugees, A&PI Wellness Center's staff speak many Asian languages including: Cantonese, Hawaiian, Hindi, Ilokano, Japanese, Malay, Mandarin, Tagalog, Vietnamese and Visayan.

A&PI Wellness Center's HIV Care Services provides free andconfidential HIV treatment case management, mental health and substance abuse counseling, on-site primary medical andpsychiatric care, client and treatment advocacy, and group andindividual support to A&PIs living with HIV/AIDS.Our HIV/STD Prevention Services reaches youth (straight, queer and questioning), gay and bisexual men, transgender persons through community organizing and outreach, workshops andsupport groups, peer counseling, and prevention casemanagement.

We offer HIV/STD/Hepatitis testing, social marketing and health promotion campaigns, community events, internships, andvolunteer opportunities.

The Community Development & External Affairs (CDEA) builds HIV prevention capacity in A&PI organizations and communities throughout the United States and its Pacific Territories; conducts community-based research; and trains non-medical serviceproviders in HIV treatment throughout California.For more info about Asian & Pacific Islander Wellness Center, please visit www.apiwellness.org.

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The Photographer: Dannydan

Dannydan’s interest in photography began in college where he took photography courses while studying Molecular Biology in University of Wisconsin, Madison. After relocating to San Francisco in 2000, he worked for a scientific publishing company while continuing to photograph primarily Fine Art, both in black and white and color. After doing several gigs for an event planner, he started Event Photography. His work quickly led him to editorial work where he has chalked up an exciting portfolio; including a spread for Noodle magazine, advertising campaigns for Asian & Pacific Islander Wellness Center, and numerous local and national advertisements. He now lives in San Francisco where he continues to work in Event & Wedding Photography. You can see more examples of his fabulous work at his website www.dannydanphoto.com..

Note:

Pooh is the Guy featured on March.

The FirstG* Spot Weblog Award

I know this is a exaggeratedly long overdue
but nevertheless the final resolution must be met to begin anew.

So without no further clog, allow me to present to all of you the eleven best blogs of the G* Spot Weblog Award

So Cast in your Votes for this month long race to the Top!

Because there can be ONLY ONE G* SPOT WEBLOG WINNER!

May the Best Blog Win!
(ei, you are all winner to my book already)

Cheers to Peace and Love!

Luhaang Langit

you were to touch the weeping sky;
ascending to the clouds
like a raindrop rising back to its creator
floating in free space
majestic solace emanates

a shining star in the paleness of the world;
you rose up slowly in search of sorrow
you rose up slowly in search of gray clouds
you rose up slowly to break the pain

a brush of your delicate hand stops the bleeding of thousands
air remains wispy whilst you glide in gently
the connection of a fingertip sends ripples asunder
as the gray clouds rip apart in serene obliteration

you have created a path for the tears to fall again
tears of sunlight fall down to earth;
rays darting down in bursts of sprints

there is hope in the world again.

shackled

How could I let you fuck with my head
And destroy the confidence I once had
They say love is blind, is it also stupid
I lost myself when you stabbed me
With a stolen arrow of Cupid’s

All those years of giving in
When I should have been assertive
You never compromised on anything
And slowly decided you didn’t respect me

I made mistakes along the way I know
But sincerely apologized for each and every one
You never forgave, instead letting your bitterness grow
And reminded me often of the hurt I had done

Eventually my unhappiness and your bitterness collided full force
We finally had the fight when you broke my heart
You said, “I don’t love you anymore”, without remorse
Our lives were shattered, we had grown apart

I hung on, clung to that last remaining hope
That somehow, someway we could regain what was lost
The thread finally snapped, I could no longer cope
What once had been everything was no longer worth the cost

On you I cannot place all the blame
Our love a blend of two white hot flames
You choked mine out with too much air
I smothered yours with more material
Than you could bear

Your siege of my heart is at an end
I’ve vanquished your lies so that I can mend
Out of this hell I will climb
Eyes burn again seeing bright sunshine

Denial is everyone’s first reaction
But life’s constant change compels you to realize
Hiding only delays the satisfaction
Of accepting the loss and greeting the new sunrise

Now the years of misery are slowly peeling back
Revealing below only the shell of a man
My identity methodically erased by your attacks
Security within must be built again

In digging deep, there’s abundant inner strength
A steely, yet gentle raging fire beneath
That place you discover in life’s varied extremes
A tiny fortress inside
Sheltering your hopes and dreams…

That tiny fortress door has opened
The brilliant inner strength has broken
Through the lies and deceit that once held me captive
Confidence is returning, I will flourish and live
Perhaps someday my heart again to give…

resurgere

I am one of the coldest people,
you have ever known.
There is no right or reason,
but my heart is submerged,
black and cold.
It has never melted,
this obsidian ice will remain thick and strong,
Until you take that heart -
in your warm hands.

Bring me back to the daylight hours,
the light that shines all day,
intensify it, so that
even when it's dark out,
the brightness will still stay.

You were the one that looked past all my flaws.
You reached into my ribs and held on tight until you felt a beat.
You pulled my beating soul,
from the dark waters,
to the surface.

It was not easy, I'm sorry I made it so hard.
I put up that thick wall,
because despite my luck, I was, am, insecure.
I'm too self-concious, and in so many ways, self-centered.
So I lashed out,
it's a wonder you figured what I'm about.
You are brilliant, my darling,
I probably don't deserve you,
I am in terror, or ever hurting
YOU.
My friend, my wonderful friend,
my warm lover...

As I look out at the horizon,
I see the desert stretching out,
dusk is falling over the black silhouettes of hills,
the sky shines yellow orange and,
the coffin of ice melts,
the warmth through the earth hasn't been the thing to free me.
It was YOU.
You were the sun, the stars burning bright into this coffin,
and soon the ice is water,
and I
fall into your...
warm hands.

Bring me back to the daylight hours,
the light that shines all day.
You were the one that,
looked past all of my flaws.
Accepted them, understood them,
and understood that
I really was, am, trying hard to fix them,
not to hurt others anymore,
to become something,
something more.

You reached into the ice cold black waters,
swirling in my ribs, freezing your hands,
and held on tight until you felt the resurge,
the shaky beat, becoming stronger,
you pulled my soul,
the best part of me,
to the surface,
to show the others
what it was
they didn't see.

You were the one,
that saw through to.
The real one,
the real me.

Sweet Surrender

If there was one thing in this world that Roy was physically incapable of doing, it was losing.

Whether it was on a battlefield, in an arguement, or over who gets the last cookie, Roy could not lose. His painfully stubborn pride made it PHYSICALLY impossible for him to let something go.

And so Roy sat, on his normal sofa, with his legs crossed. For once, his back was to the fire, and his eyes were focused on the boy that sat across from him. Marth sat at the other side of the room, arms crossed as stoiclly as ever. Their eyes were locked. There was dead silence in the room.

They had been simply staring at each other for twenty minutes now.

Not a word had been spoken. Roy had been merrily sticking by the fire, warming his hands as per usual on its heat, and talking animatedly with Mesai. Her side of the conversation though, had dimmed with a cheerful greeting of 'Hey, Princess!'

Every muscle in Roy's body tensed. And apparently this was noticed, as the Prince himself didn't say a word, his eyes simply burning into the redhead's back. So Roy turned around, looking evenly back at him. He gave no greeting, but their eyes met, and turned into a battle.

This own little mini-fight of wills of sort tired Mesai. After five minutes of trying to make conversation, she realized neither was listening to her and left. Ten minutes into the battle, Marth moved away from the doorway, making himself comfortable. Fifteen minutes into the battle, they realized that this may take a while.

And only five minutes later, Roy was beginning to find his non-existant patience running horribly thin.

His eyes creased into a glare, doubling in there intensity. The Prince's gaze was unfaltered. He opened his mouth to speak - before quickly shutting it. No, he couldn't lose. Not when he wasn't even sure what he was fighting.

He wasn't sure how long they watched each other, either, but it went on for what felt like hours. No one, no matter how stubborn, can hold up a glare for that long. Both of their frowns soon dissapeared and they were both reduced to just watching each other peacefully.

Of course, Roy was screaming in anxiety internally. For whatever battle he was fighting, he has somehow had many casualties, and couldn't hold up for much longer. Not when he could feel his defenses crumbling, oh-so quickly.

He let out an irritated breath, the first noise from one of them since Marth entered the room.

Marth raised a single, smooth eyebrow.

And somehow, such a simple action was such a fatal blow.

Roy sucked a breath in as if wounded. He stood up, walking calmly across the room. Marth rose in return, arms still crossed and looking at him cooly. Roy stared at him evenly. And then he gave his final bow by reaching up and planting his lips on the bluenette's.

For half a second, Roy's heart jumped into his throat, as his fear and pride was put on the line.

The bluenette's arms wrapped around him, and his mouth moved against his in return.

And Roy knew that even if he had surrended, he hadn't lost.


____________________

Note:

Something for a friend.

Catch Me

It's almost 12:15 in the afternoon and I'm thinking about the hurt another caused me.

He didn't do it on purpose, but why?

Why did he go from me to something less?

He's hurting me. I will never let my heart got to another.

I am afraid of being hurt again. How will I know another won't do the same?

I once gave my heart to one and he abused it.

I gave my heart again hoping that it wouldn't be taken for granted, but I was wrong.

Now I'm full of paranoia and I can't trust hardly anyone.

There is only one that I trust and I trust he won't do to me what the other's have done.

He won't cause me grief or anguish.
He would never give me hope of despair and unwantedness.

He will be there to catch me when I fall.

The others would watch me fall, hold their hand out to me and then take it back and laugh.

I asked them please and they said no I won't.

I just hope they know I will still love them and understand, but i will never forgive them for their treachery.

I know they will do it to others like me, but who is to say they will understand or even love you.

I hope your other relationships work, but eventually one will do the same to you as you did upon me.

When they do, don't even bother to call out my name cause I will say no I won't.

You will reap what you sow and I...

Will move on...

Past the pasts' treachery.

_______________

WHAT DO YOU THINK IS KEEPING ME BUSY?

Capricious

Like a rush of sugar to the brain
The emotion streams in happy waves
Through my soul to my heart
Till it sings, high as birds, in its own melody
A mellow flow of tranquillity and love.
The sun is so light, beaming abouve
The clouds like warm soft embraces
I look upon them in admiration
Of an unbroken world of promise

Then slowly I feel it seep away
Like the draining of a sieve
Leaving only dregs of what was there
Memory of joy I cling to fondly
The sky dulls to a grey shell
Of what it was to me before
And even promise seems broken
Lost in the change of time

And finally a cloud gradually
Mysteriously materialises and closes
In on me thick and full of something
Moments previously not even dreams
Could picture dawning.
Black clogging, choking, dragging
Out soul from within as every breath
I breathe it intensifies
Leaving me cold to the world

The sun is too bright, too cheerful
The clouds are mocking and mean
There is no promise, no love, no hope
In the dark world.
Communication becomes a waste of time
When I could be doing nothing
In the place of idle trivial chat
A void now cut deep in my soul
Poisoned by shadows of emotion
Blinding me with dark nothingness

But it isn’t final, it isn’t over
On an endless loop it repeats
Just as easily as it appeared
The cloud fades and dissolves
And the warm waves begin
To wash over me once more
Flooding, filling me with peace
Only to be replaced again
Unpredictable, undeniable,
Unnoticeable, unavoidable
Real.

_________________

I really dont get it. I am getting too many mood swing lately. The capricious feelings is at times taking the best of me. Only if I can determine the very reason I am getting roller coaster emotions. Sigh.

Sweet Temptation

*Acknowledgement to the owner of the photo.

The Emancipation

"At This Moment, I Am Free."

At this moment I am free. I am utterly emancipated from all facets of obligation, mandates, or responsibilities. At this moment I exist as the reconciled chaos, as the believed dharma, and as the arid desert of an infinitely mundane consciousness. I’d relish the opportunity to insinuate my abhorrence for the situation, but that would apply it pertinence, and apply me emotion. And to fathom… this is a moment, an attribute of a perpetual fluctuating eternity, and the only thing keeping me in it is the tantalizing facets of the subconscious.

People, like parasites flourish inscrutably. Perpetually propagating lacking coherent logic as to what their putrid life is. And those who do ratify the intricate existence they possess, a dismissal system embedded in their mind alleviates it because its a "negative" thought. And this is due to its potent nature of ceasing people from their cycle. In fact there are those who seek to attain that resolution. They cherish the moment where they ignorantly infer they are irrelevant, and "life’s not worth living." I think the answer to that comment or in some situations question would be, "No, your not worth living life."

There is exuberance in deducing eternal nothingness, and redundancy it induces horror. This horror is then converted into an emotion to be unconsciously embraced and there you go. Back to the start, your putrid perpetual drone is once again manipulating all the insoluble facets of life to befit his emotion, to imbue him to complete his oblivious propagation now that he’s acquired an assisting emotion. We exist as momentary emotions. All associates ambient to you, all friends are merely attributes of your own emotional application. They are external phenomenon’s much like yourself, though they are subjectively interpreted to befit your emotional designation. For example, If Jane has a repugnant face, chances are she has a sincere propitious personality to you. If Joe is arrogantly hansom, then he has a repulsive attitude. Depending on the objective and temperament of the one discerning, the associates conform. Though the fundamental foundation they conform too, despite our subjective manipulated interpretations, is emotions.

One of the facets I use to validate my contempt for humanity as being a disease is that they require not the association with humanity beyond logic at a certain moment. As all creatures implemented on this earth they proceed through stages. Some are very obscure developing stages, like the crocodile. Some are almost parallel to our own, such as the lion. And thus the human exists in this process as well, but the befuddling aspect of the human is that certain moments of its development induce a state of satisfaction, thus it suffices not to ensue.

The human is bestowed the abstract mind, the immaculate logic, and the inscrutably succinct reason. Lacking these attributes the human is equivalent to the animals, simplistically responding to emotional responses that it is oblivious to. And its mandate to propagate the race to barbarically preserve a family and or race they are only correlated to by fear, or stupidity. This is the human lacking those fundamental aspects of abstract, logic and reason. And the repugnant, the so atrocious, the so bewilderingly disgruntling deduction I arrive at is these parasites intentionally reside at these states of underdevelopment. They unconsciously choose to remain primitive, rambunctious and barbaric. And so you say to your self, indeed remain ignorant with your imprudent emotions, and acrid unconscious burdensome desires. Though that itself ratifies the disease they are, capable of ascending though remaining primitive and mentally underdeveloped. And thus contentions ensue, caused by their emotional states of being, and inability to avert what shouldn’t exist. Just like the lion growing up and still-hunting with its decaying mother. The lion could only sustain its existence at this point by sacrificing its means to be better for the worse of both entities. Not only is the lion delaying the nature of its mothers demise, but also the lion now lacks the ability to thrive for its own being as well. And the only thing that keeps the human lacking its truth or reconciliation of existence by means of cognition or abstract mind is emotion.

And it is these emotions we praise. It is our merit sorrow and wrath. Our friends are attributes of this existence as momentary emotions. And how ironic is it that our life’s mandate is to ascertain just those emotions that allow us to infer “pointlessness of our lives” as the ignorant so much abhor. The emotion is a fluctuating aspect of ones inner conscious that parades itself so inconclusively and inexplicable that each parasite on this so bewildering earth latches onto for the security of there own impudence.

All conflict, all contention all future problem and whoa is fucking me, is the cause of our intentional degradation, and satisfaction with not knowing, even though we so simplistically could. These boisterous human creatures require that moment of liberating liability, they need to have that brief elated moment to surmise there lives are impertinent. Because that moment only empowers there putrid thrive to enforce their emotions to emancipate themselves from the “horror” that only exists for pity. Its comical just the utter truth we desire to dismay when reading articles such as this. As though humanities obliged to acquire some scientific consensus of some elaborate truth no one believes. The primitive humans even then secure themselves with a concept they still fail to grasp. “Ah yes, science can answer my disgusting existence!”

But nonetheless this is my subjective interpretation that pertains its existence only coincided with me. This is a concept and a perspective bequeathed out of the sheer will I have to exert, just to ratify my own freedom.

_____________

I Am BACK. And it Feels So Fucking GOOD to be BAck!

To Everyone, Please accept my sincerest apologies for my absences and lapses.