Capricious

Like a rush of sugar to the brain
The emotion streams in happy waves
Through my soul to my heart
Till it sings, high as birds, in its own melody
A mellow flow of tranquillity and love.
The sun is so light, beaming abouve
The clouds like warm soft embraces
I look upon them in admiration
Of an unbroken world of promise

Then slowly I feel it seep away
Like the draining of a sieve
Leaving only dregs of what was there
Memory of joy I cling to fondly
The sky dulls to a grey shell
Of what it was to me before
And even promise seems broken
Lost in the change of time

And finally a cloud gradually
Mysteriously materialises and closes
In on me thick and full of something
Moments previously not even dreams
Could picture dawning.
Black clogging, choking, dragging
Out soul from within as every breath
I breathe it intensifies
Leaving me cold to the world

The sun is too bright, too cheerful
The clouds are mocking and mean
There is no promise, no love, no hope
In the dark world.
Communication becomes a waste of time
When I could be doing nothing
In the place of idle trivial chat
A void now cut deep in my soul
Poisoned by shadows of emotion
Blinding me with dark nothingness

But it isn’t final, it isn’t over
On an endless loop it repeats
Just as easily as it appeared
The cloud fades and dissolves
And the warm waves begin
To wash over me once more
Flooding, filling me with peace
Only to be replaced again
Unpredictable, undeniable,
Unnoticeable, unavoidable
Real.

_________________

I really dont get it. I am getting too many mood swing lately. The capricious feelings is at times taking the best of me. Only if I can determine the very reason I am getting roller coaster emotions. Sigh.