I will never be your Woman

we are eggs,
we are harvesting and creation and devastation,
bodies and images, and TV and super stars,
hot soup and kitchens,
whore life,
wife life,
mother life and baby life.
Was i asking too much to create?
to become part of you,
to become part of me?
Won't you hold me and tell me it's ok, "father" means nothing,
we don't need it, and won't need it, won't you tell me.
Don't look down and tell me i don't mean a thing,
don't look down, hold on to me and tell me that biology is just science and religion .
Tell me i am beautiful, that my children will be poets and intellects,
that seeds are just empty space that we let slip from our hands into the wind.

I want to be your island,
i want to be your summer,
i want to be your family,
i want to be your woman.

[there is a silence that sounds a lot like shame, but fills itself with a sigh on your part]

i wish i was your woman

[it is repeated with smaller impact, then you look back at me, your eyes are this shit crazy pale blue and look so set beneath your almost raven hair, you are crying, you are a coward]

you don't mean that

[says you, who knows nothing about meaning, you are fake.]

walk away,
walk away,
have you no idea that sex is just ideas and expectation?
will you not be mine?
will you not give in to me because of the gender i wear on my head,
on my face,
in my bed, on my hand?
tell me that i am not everything,
tell me that i am not perfect,
tell me that i am not worth more to you then a smack in the face after sex.
you are a coward,
you are liar,
you are a two faced son of a bitch,
you are a man.
i am a man.
And i will never be your woman.

_________________

Allow me as well to take this oppurtunity to say thank to all those whom i would like to call blog friends - who dropped a line in my "Hiatus?" post. Sincerely, you guys have boost up my morale. You made me feel i am not alone in this. Thank you so much.