Capricious

Like a rush of sugar to the brain
The emotion streams in happy waves
Through my soul to my heart
Till it sings, high as birds, in its own melody
A mellow flow of tranquillity and love.
The sun is so light, beaming abouve
The clouds like warm soft embraces
I look upon them in admiration
Of an unbroken world of promise

Then slowly I feel it seep away
Like the draining of a sieve
Leaving only dregs of what was there
Memory of joy I cling to fondly
The sky dulls to a grey shell
Of what it was to me before
And even promise seems broken
Lost in the change of time

And finally a cloud gradually
Mysteriously materialises and closes
In on me thick and full of something
Moments previously not even dreams
Could picture dawning.
Black clogging, choking, dragging
Out soul from within as every breath
I breathe it intensifies
Leaving me cold to the world

The sun is too bright, too cheerful
The clouds are mocking and mean
There is no promise, no love, no hope
In the dark world.
Communication becomes a waste of time
When I could be doing nothing
In the place of idle trivial chat
A void now cut deep in my soul
Poisoned by shadows of emotion
Blinding me with dark nothingness

But it isn’t final, it isn’t over
On an endless loop it repeats
Just as easily as it appeared
The cloud fades and dissolves
And the warm waves begin
To wash over me once more
Flooding, filling me with peace
Only to be replaced again
Unpredictable, undeniable,
Unnoticeable, unavoidable
Real.

_________________

I really dont get it. I am getting too many mood swing lately. The capricious feelings is at times taking the best of me. Only if I can determine the very reason I am getting roller coaster emotions. Sigh.

Sweet Temptation

*Acknowledgement to the owner of the photo.

The Emancipation

"At This Moment, I Am Free."

At this moment I am free. I am utterly emancipated from all facets of obligation, mandates, or responsibilities. At this moment I exist as the reconciled chaos, as the believed dharma, and as the arid desert of an infinitely mundane consciousness. I’d relish the opportunity to insinuate my abhorrence for the situation, but that would apply it pertinence, and apply me emotion. And to fathom… this is a moment, an attribute of a perpetual fluctuating eternity, and the only thing keeping me in it is the tantalizing facets of the subconscious.

People, like parasites flourish inscrutably. Perpetually propagating lacking coherent logic as to what their putrid life is. And those who do ratify the intricate existence they possess, a dismissal system embedded in their mind alleviates it because its a "negative" thought. And this is due to its potent nature of ceasing people from their cycle. In fact there are those who seek to attain that resolution. They cherish the moment where they ignorantly infer they are irrelevant, and "life’s not worth living." I think the answer to that comment or in some situations question would be, "No, your not worth living life."

There is exuberance in deducing eternal nothingness, and redundancy it induces horror. This horror is then converted into an emotion to be unconsciously embraced and there you go. Back to the start, your putrid perpetual drone is once again manipulating all the insoluble facets of life to befit his emotion, to imbue him to complete his oblivious propagation now that he’s acquired an assisting emotion. We exist as momentary emotions. All associates ambient to you, all friends are merely attributes of your own emotional application. They are external phenomenon’s much like yourself, though they are subjectively interpreted to befit your emotional designation. For example, If Jane has a repugnant face, chances are she has a sincere propitious personality to you. If Joe is arrogantly hansom, then he has a repulsive attitude. Depending on the objective and temperament of the one discerning, the associates conform. Though the fundamental foundation they conform too, despite our subjective manipulated interpretations, is emotions.

One of the facets I use to validate my contempt for humanity as being a disease is that they require not the association with humanity beyond logic at a certain moment. As all creatures implemented on this earth they proceed through stages. Some are very obscure developing stages, like the crocodile. Some are almost parallel to our own, such as the lion. And thus the human exists in this process as well, but the befuddling aspect of the human is that certain moments of its development induce a state of satisfaction, thus it suffices not to ensue.

The human is bestowed the abstract mind, the immaculate logic, and the inscrutably succinct reason. Lacking these attributes the human is equivalent to the animals, simplistically responding to emotional responses that it is oblivious to. And its mandate to propagate the race to barbarically preserve a family and or race they are only correlated to by fear, or stupidity. This is the human lacking those fundamental aspects of abstract, logic and reason. And the repugnant, the so atrocious, the so bewilderingly disgruntling deduction I arrive at is these parasites intentionally reside at these states of underdevelopment. They unconsciously choose to remain primitive, rambunctious and barbaric. And so you say to your self, indeed remain ignorant with your imprudent emotions, and acrid unconscious burdensome desires. Though that itself ratifies the disease they are, capable of ascending though remaining primitive and mentally underdeveloped. And thus contentions ensue, caused by their emotional states of being, and inability to avert what shouldn’t exist. Just like the lion growing up and still-hunting with its decaying mother. The lion could only sustain its existence at this point by sacrificing its means to be better for the worse of both entities. Not only is the lion delaying the nature of its mothers demise, but also the lion now lacks the ability to thrive for its own being as well. And the only thing that keeps the human lacking its truth or reconciliation of existence by means of cognition or abstract mind is emotion.

And it is these emotions we praise. It is our merit sorrow and wrath. Our friends are attributes of this existence as momentary emotions. And how ironic is it that our life’s mandate is to ascertain just those emotions that allow us to infer “pointlessness of our lives” as the ignorant so much abhor. The emotion is a fluctuating aspect of ones inner conscious that parades itself so inconclusively and inexplicable that each parasite on this so bewildering earth latches onto for the security of there own impudence.

All conflict, all contention all future problem and whoa is fucking me, is the cause of our intentional degradation, and satisfaction with not knowing, even though we so simplistically could. These boisterous human creatures require that moment of liberating liability, they need to have that brief elated moment to surmise there lives are impertinent. Because that moment only empowers there putrid thrive to enforce their emotions to emancipate themselves from the “horror” that only exists for pity. Its comical just the utter truth we desire to dismay when reading articles such as this. As though humanities obliged to acquire some scientific consensus of some elaborate truth no one believes. The primitive humans even then secure themselves with a concept they still fail to grasp. “Ah yes, science can answer my disgusting existence!”

But nonetheless this is my subjective interpretation that pertains its existence only coincided with me. This is a concept and a perspective bequeathed out of the sheer will I have to exert, just to ratify my own freedom.

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I Am BACK. And it Feels So Fucking GOOD to be BAck!

To Everyone, Please accept my sincerest apologies for my absences and lapses.