Beautiful Jake Cuenca

I was in Tri Noma yesterday to buy some new clothes and some new under garments (I have a fetish on undergarment - i collect them, wear and shoot a self portrait and do my on "brief encounter" series lolz).

Passing by Bench where I usually shop for undergarments, I saw the ramp is on stage - "Maybe its for the new model search of bench," i mumured to myself. So I care not and decided to pursue what i planned to do, get the stuff i need and be on my usual way.

Then, Bang! Jake Cuenca, Diether Ocampo and Rafel Rosell in the store, preparing for the modelling stint. (All Three has been previously featured in my Asian HeatWave Series, so check them Out!)

But I really have this Big Crush for Jake Cuenca! and Darn he is really cuter with that short hair. Im bit disappointed about his height though but nonetheless, his eyes and smile is exuding with sexiness in the store that day. Especially, when he grooves sexily with the music background as he waits for his turn.

Well, i dont know i guess i am really mesmerize that day with him and i think he notice that i am staring with a dirty looks in my eye... He did stare back - eye contact and flirt with me with a smile. I am concious guys, I maybe mesmerized BUT I am not hallucinating, I know he throw that smile! lolz!

He has been humored to be a bisexual. Hmmmm.... I wonder...c",)

Anyway, here are some pictures of Jake, well not actually from yesterday stint. I guess I was really too busy admiring him that I even forgot to bring out my camera. lolz

sizzling as the scourging sun!

The Artificial Heart

Many of us claim to know what it is to be coldhearted, but only a few of us are truly empty enough to enjoy the pain of others… A memory came to me recently, of what I did to you, what was done to you, one of the greatest battles of my life…

It was raining that night…do you remember? Deep in the evening we lay together from a long night of passions… And suddenly you awoke. You wrapped your arms around me, and held me close…if only you could have seen the disgust in my eyes when I felt this…weakness, emanating from you. Hands searching everywhere, for something…Soft kisses here and there, candied touches under the sheets. Had you realized the part of me you couldn’t find did not exist? Did you truly believe your passions were mutual?

Keep me close; tell me your deepest secrets. I am all you will ever need, and more than you will ever dream of. You wanted to tell me something, whisper a dream I didn’t want to hear, so bare you had become, all of you revealed, assuming for some ridiculous reason that a bit of trustful intimacy meant all had been given to you. I already knew what was coming, and I already knew you were mistaken. Such a fool.

Three words you whimper to me, three little words, that shattered my perfect landscape. A spell torn out of my artificial heart, time for you to see the open door, my true eyes; the fact that I cannot respond to any feelings you have for me, for I own none… no three words from me, I have no words… no soft cries, or sweet glances, stolen kisses, warm caress… hearts open and bare for the taking… I do not have such things…

The devil is my Father, and I his light.

I peel you off of me swiftly, and arise from bed in one soft sigh. A sweet despair is taking over me, all my dreams lost and ruined from your simple confession. I quickly pace around the room, getting dressed as I walk. In shock you jump up, confused by my actions…”What are you doing?” But I simply ignore you and continue with my task of getting the hell out of here. The rain is so loud, I fear it will come crashing in through the windows…You come closer and grab me by the shoulders, searching my face for answers...I look away, I can feel your body tremble as tears begin to fall. I wish I could taste them…I let you pull me close, kiss me deeply; as if that would keep me in your arms… I giggle softly, such weakness. I can’t stand it.

As I walk out into the rain I can still hear you crying out for me…But it is meaningless, a pointless sound coming from a pointless being. My spell is gone, all the charms gone stale. Sparkling starlight has no place here now. Glass slippers only disappoint. Such a fool.

Vicious Borgy

"Borgy Manotoc: Vicious"

______________

Note:

I dont care.... He is still my ultimate Crush. lolz

Enjoy your weekend Guys.

Enjoy, "Have You Ever Love" and "Troika"

Let Me Enjoy Borgy! lolz

Stay Blessed, Beautiful and Free!

Have you Ever Loved?

Why do I ask…
I know you’ve loved someone
But have you ever seen that someone
Take a turn for the worst?

I have…

I just watched with knowing eyes
I knew the consequences he would face

But for some reason…
I couldn’t reach out and save him
He gradually fell deeper into his hole
A hole of paranoia
A hole concealed by his forced smile

Why couldn’t I just tell him to stop?

…well I did…

But my voice was too quiet…
too far away from him
Some of my words reached his ears
But they were distorted and manipulated in his mind
He turned my words against me
Making me feel like it was my fault that he was fucked up

I would cry in my room for hours
Hoping that what he said wasn’t true
I knew his words were false…
But some part of me believed him
My heart was being eaten away by worry
While his mind was slowly drifting further away

Then there was the day that he left
He took his stuff and walked away
Leaving me here with an unbearable pain
I need for him to return
But no matter what I could’ve said
He would have still left
And I would still be left here alone

He took a turn for the worst
I couldn’t help him while he was here
And now that he’s gone
There’s no knowing what will happen to him
A feeling so desperate and helpless…

Have you ever loved someone…
Who turned and walked away from your love?

…I have.

troika

They come in threes, actually. From the Troika zine comes Will Sandejas [bottom left], Janvier Daily [right], and Josh Ivan Morales aka Maico Eduria [center]. The magazine was published as a promo material for the gratuitous johns-and-bojangles movie Troika , which was panned by serious film critics.

JANVIER DAILY

Janvier Daily, 22 years old and a student of Hotel and Restaurant Management at the University of Baguio, became an instant gay-folk sensation when he took on the male lead role in the kooky musical, ZsaZsa Zaturnnah. Janvier claims to be half-Irish [his father is from Eire], but he was born here - in Cabuyao, Laguna before moving up to Baguio City. Admittedly, he has fine Filipino features - dark, sort of nigrescent and a knockout, if you ask me. Surely, not all Irish are Caucasoid. If I remember correctly, there is predominantly a 'Black Irish' , a dark-skinned, dark-eyed, dark-haired Irish phenotype created by the infusion of Spanish blood [through countryside invasions]. And then there's the 'Black Irish' of the British West Indies, the mixed-blood offspring of 17th century Irish emigrants and African slaves who live on the island of Montserrat, known also as the "Emerald Isle of the Caribbean." So, how about it, J.? Methinks, despite any claims of progeny or race, Janvier Daily is one beautiful Filipino specimen. You must agree with me on that.

___________

WILL SANDEJAS

Will Sandejas, Kristian Tanfelix in the real world, is 23 years old and a fixture at bikini contests before joining showbiz. He dusky looker from Laguna finished a special course for caregivers and initially intended to work abroad until he can no longer ignore the lure of the kleig lights.
Will Sandejas was first runner-up at the Metro Bar Bikini Open and the winner of Fashion Quest 2006 held at the Pearl of Manila Hotel. Then he joined Upstyle Modeling Agency's Style Eyecatchers Model Search, where he was declared as a winner in one of the editions of said search. Next came the movies

Will, who was once the lead vocalist of Replay Band, was one of the naked miners [yes, miners] in the indie exploitation film Troika, which also came up with a limited edition magazine from which the images above were taken. He was last seen in another gay bare-for-all flick called Sikil with the boyish Ken Escudero

________________

JOSH IVAN MORALES

It seems that this cute Chinese mestizo, who is only 23 years old, is in a hurry for his 15 minutes of fame. The 6'-tall Tarlac province native has been joining teen bikini competitions of late. In any case, he does seem to hold some promise in the looks and brawn department, and the future looks sunshine-y for this guy.

definitely a three sizzling stud to watch for

An Open Letter to Myself

"wash away my tears"

Dear Khalel,

Hold your breath and don't look down.
Just take it one story at a time.
It's really not so hard.

Sometimes screaming will help you keep the insides inside. There's no turning back, all you can do is hope they'll be there to catch at the bottom; but they won't, and it's never a soft landing. And after you hit the bottom, fracturing every bone, everyone expects you to just tough it up and walk away. But you can't even move your toe, let alone walk.

Everyone passes by so casually; barely even noticing your mangled body laying there. You almost want to laugh but your jaw is lying on the pavement beside you, which makes it a little difficult.

"Take the fall, it's worth the risk."

Just be thankful that you can't see yourself like this. The system is suspended in limbo, the power is on but there's no response. And all that's left is to shut it down and move on.

Khalel, be strong. Be very Strong.

I will be your strength,

CAIRO

__________

Note:

Sometimes, there is really no one we can depend upon except ourselves.

Manila Gay Pride Parade

First Asian Gay Pride Parade

Manila, 1994

The Gay Bomb

A Berkeley watchdog organization that tracks military spending said it uncovered a strange U.S. military proposal to create a hormone bomb that could purportedly turn enemy soldiers into homosexuals and make them more interested in sex than fighting.

Pentagon officials on Friday confirmed that military leaders had considered, and then subsquently rejected, building the so-called "Gay Bomb."

Via CBS 5:
Edward Hammond, of Berkeley's Sunshine Project, had used the Freedom of Information Act to obtain a copy of the proposal from the Air Force's Wright Laboratory in Dayton, Ohio.

As part of a military effort to develop non-lethal weapons, the proposal suggested, "One distasteful but completely non-lethal example would be strong aphrodisiacs, especially if the chemical also caused homosexual behavior."

The documents show the Air Force lab asked for $7.5 million to develop such a chemical weapon.

"The Ohio Air Force lab proposed that a bomb be developed that contained a chemical that would cause enemy soliders to become gay, and to have their units break down because all their soldiers became irresistably attractive to one another," Hammond said after reviwing the documents.

"The notion was that a chemical that would probably be pleasant in the human body in low quantities could be identified, and by virtue of either breathing or having their skin exposed to this chemical, the notion was that soliders would become gay," explained Hammond.

The Pentagon told CBS 5 that the proposal was made by the Air Force in 1994.

"The Department of Defense is committed to identifying, researching and developing non-lethal weapons that will support our men and women in uniform," said a DOD spokesperson, who indicated that the "gay bomb" idea was quickly dismissed.

However, Hammond said the government records he obtained suggest the military gave the plan much stronger consideration than it has acknowledged.

"The truth of the matter is it would have never come to my attention if it was dismissed at the time it was proposed," he said. "In fact, the Pentagon has used it repeatedly and subsequently in an effort to promote non-lethal weapons, and in fact they submitted it to the highest scientific review body in the country for them to consider."

Military officials insisted Friday to CBS 5 that they are not currently working on any such idea and that the past plan was abandoned.

Gay community leaders in California said Friday that they found the notion of a "gay bomb" both offensive and almost laughable at the same time.

"Throughout history we have had so many brave men and women who are gay and lesbian serving the military with distinction," said Geoff Kors of Equality California. "So, it's just offensive that they think by turning people gay that the other military would be incapable of doing their job. And its absurd because there's so much medical data that shows that sexual orientation is immutable and cannot be changed."

The Crypt

Asian HeatWave: Carlos Concepcion

Height: 5′8″

Weight: 140 lbs.

Occupation: Model, Designer

Known for: being a member of SOP’s Take Five and finalist of Mossimo Bikini Summit 2005


This is how Carlos describes himself:


“I’m Carlos Concepcion—I enjoy swimming and reading and I want to be an entrepreneur and a television host someday. So patiently, I’m waiting and working hard for that break. I think my edge is my faith and my determination to succeed—and you know the secret to my charm—a little dash of humour—for me to enjoy every ride—and really spend my youth with clean fun!”






This young heir to the RFM Corporation is needless to say one hot stud. I have seen him in person in Gold’s Gym before and wow, he is really cute and hunky.

I am just puzzled why this guy is joining bikini competitions if he can enter showbiz without exerting much effort?

He even dared to bare almost everything in one of the photoshoots he did. (Check it out below) Well, it’s a good thing he made a decision to flaunt his flawless body for us to enjoy.

________

Note:

Guys, If there is someone you would like to feature in the Asian HeatWave Series, just let me know, ayt?

Dreamin'

"morning cigarette."

A single candle light, a single flame; a single drop of heat in a frozen paradise. And all I want to do is submerge it all into the deepest, coldest ocean. Conjure a wish from the brightest star reflected on the surface, and hold it inside as I burry deep beneath the ocean waves; plunging deeper with you into infinite depths. A lifeless paralyze in oblivion, entangled around each other; drowning in another dream.

I woke up again, and was not entirely sure of where I was; only that I had been there before. A voice I didn't recognize was heard through the door. "khalel, are you awake yet? Hurry up, you're going to be late." I never asked; I never felt any desire to know. Who was the voice? I think deep down inside I knew; but I don't think I really cared. I needed a morning cigarette; could I smoke in here? Somehow I felt that it wouldn't really matter. I found my cigarettes still in my pant pocket. I robe a towel to cover my nakedness as I slowly smoked the cigarette. I got up and slowly explored the room, or what little of it there was to explore. And, for some reason outside of my understanding, I had no interests in what was beyond the door to the room; in fact I was afraid to open it.

Finally a knock came on the door and I choked on my voice and slowly stood up to see you peek into the door and then enter. And there you were, in all that I had known, and I felt myself drowning again. Fighting the undertow to take another gasp of air. Just let go. Let the waters heal the pain. "Hi" I whispered with a subtle blush, looking at the ground. No reply came, but I was too unnerved to look up. And I realized that you were talking, but I wasn't listening at the same phase of your voice, and as I turned my head to focus on your voice I began falling again. And as I fell I realized I was descending once again in the depths of water. The deeper I descended the darker it became until the water no longer carried the greenish-blue tint, and I became lost; shivering in absolute darkness...

H&L: Updates

"I am Working on It!"

Honestly, the switching of Blogger into a new platform really gave me the headache, been wanting to move in to the new format but i still would like to maintain my three column format that i have carefully draft in the old blogger platform and for almost a week, i have been searchin all of the help i can get but i cant still figure it out. I am a "street smart" type of template designer and i am used of making it the old fashion ways but the newest widgets in the new platform are quite complicated. Thus, I would really need to transfer to the new platform for this.

But I guess you cant stop a street rat like me... I have out smarted blogger [at least i think i have] and voila! I am officially in the new platform and with almost the same template i used to have in the old one! Plus with some new widgets for my readers to have a much more easier grasp of the blog, so here are the newest things about Hush and Listen:

• Drop Down Archive List (2004 to present)
• Recent Comments Auto Posting
• Post Link/Blog Reaction
• Social Bookmarks
• Language Translation
• Labels and Categories

I am still working on the "the peak-a-boo" post. I got the codes installed but I think something is wrong, its still not working. So i am calling geniuses out there to help figure this out.

On the Other hand, i temporarily schew the tag board. So if there is something you need to tell me about this blog or even personal stuff, please use the comment page.

I am really excited about this and I am hoping that these new widgets will help me expressed accross to a greater readership what hush and Listen is really all about. The nine Language Translation for this blog would really be cool in helping me to achieved this.

Lastly, I am calling on you guys, to help me out in improving this blog. Tell me your suggestions/comments or whatever... I would really appreciate it.

Thanks Guys! Happy Weekend! I Hope you Enjoy, FLIP.

Stay Blessed, Beautiful and Free.

Flip

Sweet, delicious moans fell from those pale parted lips, long fingers writhing and twisting in the hair of the angel above. A shallow thrust from slender hips brought a ragged sigh and an accompanying arch. Like a whore, legs were already obscenely spread to reveal that delightfully tight place.

“Harder! Oh, God, harder! Please!” the intoxicating words were merely the invitation he had already accepted. But deeper he wanted, and deeper he went.

The lackadaisical rotation of svelte hips quickly turned to savage ways. Thrust upon thrust, he drove deeper and deeper within; the flesh ripping and the suddenly tightened passage bleeding, ensuring the silkiest screams were gained from his bed-partner’s throat.

Oh, God. That burning now, so unbelievably deep. Twisting pain spirals along the length of insides, spreading the fire, worsening that ache. The world has already gone a searing white, or maybe his eyes are closed; either way, the sudden jolt of the built up orgasm blinds him further into a spinning cacophony of pained release.

That heavy shaft is still doing its damage inside; still not done, but almost there, speeding up to a feverish and animalistic pace before that last grinding drive throws him over the final threshold of pleasure.

Harsh, panting groans were the music of the air, a melodic note added to the euphony as the auricomous pretty withdrew from the atramentous god beneath. Breaths quickened once more as lips united in a bruising kiss, the aphotic one’s specialty, and ice touched crystal met doleful titian.

“It’s my turn to be on top,”

furious

Your words dig deep
Driving further into my breast
Ripping open my cage
As splinters of bone
And gristle
Fly in every which direction
As my exposed heart
Embraces the encroaching darkness
The midnight filth
Poisoning my system
Black oil spreading
With each beat
Of my festering heart
Coating my system
With slick depression
Washing away hope
Watering the seeds
Of doubt and decay
Sprouting saplings
Of pure hate
As a snarl
Of pure fury
Tears across my face
As tears of rage
Coarse down my face
Teeth clenched
Blood boiled beyond belief
My fists ball up
And draw back
Beating the ignorance
Out of you

__________

Note:

Just a piece on Gay Bashing.

Last Sunday, I learned from a friend that One of his friend has been killed together with the another friend, another is still in the hospital.

The scenario: Their families launched a search party to look for group for not being off from their scheduled returned from a beach vacation - their decomposing bodies has been found somewhere Cavite.

Hiprocrisia

Cause if one love is right

Then the other is wrong

Their plastic messiahs sing songs
Of redemption

Paving their paths in some divine direction Injection of faith

Like a drug

Settle down

They’ll sedate a smile right out of that frown Facedown

On the road leading out of this town
You don’t know where you’re going,
All you’ve got is the ground
And the earth in your ears that is blocking the sound
Of a thousand beloved as their soul you impound

All you’ve got is the ground



The crusade for hatred, the veil growing thin
The mask of the righteous not hiding their sin
And within their own reaches
The Son they revere
Is watching the downfall of all he held dear
What’s been done unto others
Is travesty black
And the love between brothers
Is starting to lack
An attack
On the life so in death we are safe
Though the means with the morals are starting to chafe

So the golden bell tolls on the day of the dead
And the wicked are sent to repent for blood bled
But what if those waiting to fulfil this dread
Are but insects and animals waiting for bread?

This senseless betrayal would all be for naught
This dogged devotion would all be forgot
The music eternal just numb white sound

All you’ve got is the ground
All you’ve got is the ground

________________

Note:

this piece about those who use religion, specifically Christianity, as an excuse for hatred and discrimination. It started off in my anger over the abuse and misuse of the phrase "Christian morality" as an argument against gay marriage, and moved on to encompass the general hypocrisy of the far Christian right.

Don't reprimand me for taking the Lord's name in vain when you're touting Jesus Christ as a pretext for violence and injustice. I just don't understand what's so difficult to grasp about love.

duwag

My jeans find their ways around my ankles. Crawling and sliding and you take my head back in your hands, big hands, man hands. Holding my neck as if to snap it, but now to love it, and I’m on your pillow, holding your pillow tight. kiss my back and roll me over, I wish you didn't breathe so much, I wish we didn't have to do this. you've locked the door and I’m watching it, my head turned sideways as not to suffocate in the pillow and your so heavy up on top of me, you smell like sweat and you breath so deep. can't we be done now?

My brothers is outside the door with your other friends and you say "down soon" and they leave, what would they do if they knew? they couldn't still call you a friend, what do you think they'd do to you? I wish I could scream out to him, and tell him save me, tell him help me, tell him make it go away. I wish I could tell him that you've touched me, that you kiss me, on my mouth and on my arms and on my chest and down and down and down and down, stop it. I wish I could tell him that I suck you and you like it, that you fuck me and you love it, in your bed, on my bed surrounded by the toys I don't let watch me, that I won't look at again coz they all smell of you, and my sheets smell like you. I hear my brother walking down your hall and back down your stairs, why doesn't he come back? please come back, fucking please come back, come back. I ask Jesus to bring him back but he’s down your stairs and laughing with his friends again. I Want to scream for him, but I can hardly breathe, and I can't cry and I can't move, Jesus please bring him back. why does nobody come for me?

I don't understand the way you love me, the way you call me beautiful but hurt me, I don't understand the things we do or why we do them, and way I just wish I would fucking die when you sit me up there on your lap, or close my eyes so I can't see what scares me. the things I don't understand you drill into my mind, into my body and I learn so fast, we're in your little bed room and it all runs like clockwork the days I don't ask questions.

If my brother knew don't you think he'd kill you? Don't you think he'd rip off your fucking cock and make you eat it you sick fucking son of a bitch? Don't you think he'd let everyone know that your a faggot and you make his little brother one to, day by day, drill by drill, breath by breath and it's killing me? Why doesn't he come back? don't you think he'll come back? I bet he'll come back. I bet he'll come back and find us with your cock in my throat, and you'll be breathing and then you won't pass the blame, then you won’t pass the blame when he's kicking the shit out of you faggot. He doesn’t come back. No one ever comes back.

I don't tell. standing with the blood rushing to my hands and my feet, hearing it thudding in the veins in my brain, almost 10 years on now and I’m pretty much a man myself. Mirror mirror on the wall who’s the crying coward? and you're all I think about, you're all I think about. I saw you in church when you were baptized on a Sunday in June, I saw your sins swim away in the water, demons drowning with my name on their lips. I'm so afraid we'll die the same day and you'll be waiting for me in heaven, and when I get there I won't speak, just lay down and roll over, listen to my brothers laugh down your stairs, but so muffled by your breathing. I wish I could find a tongue to talk with, find the words to paint my picture right, but this entire hesitance makes me weaker and the words never find themselves in the air around me.

Where are you little voice? an 8 year old boy still screams inside my head, he tells me to tell on you? he tells me make it stop, please make the fucking stop, and I can’t stand to see him crying. He's in my stomach, and he's in my head and my heart and my throat, his little voice is in my throat. I wish I could cut lines into my neck and let his voices out, coward, why am I such a fucking coward? What do I owe you, I don’t owe you my silence, tell me what do I owe you?

And when I loose my nerves, when I look at myself with clarity and swallow this coward, I’ll cut deep and slow and sure and bleed the boy you raped into the bath. and when they find me, when they find me, they'll say they never knew, and you'll stand at my funeral dressed in black and find your demons in the ground, crawling up your trouser legs, back into your balls, and I hope they sting like cancer. When they cry for the "young life lost so tragically early" a note on my body will say "he fucked me in your bed" and you didn't come, you never came back, you never came back.

Gay Marriage

Gay Marriage has been something our society has been struggling with for years, for or against, should it be allowed by the church/state or not?

Well, here's your time to shine, leave a comment to say what you think about the situation, and make sure to back yourself up, don't just say "for" or "against" have a reason.

Be argumentative.

________

Happy Weekend Guys!

June Pride

JUNE IS PRIDE MONTH

Go On, Show your Pride.

I DARE YOU!

_______

Note:

...What to Expect in this Blog for this Month?

...Hard Nerve Banging and Ego Shattering Commentaries on Issues that up to this day plague the LGBT community as it was in Stonewall Inn Riot, June 27, 1969...

The G* Spot Finalist June 2007

A New Month for G* Spot Weblog Award,
and the Finalist are...

goodluck guys!